fanciful devices: 08/2015

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

8/26/15

Today was National Dog Day.

How y'all mofos been, ya ol' mofos?

Me? I'm coolio. I might have the most boring life ever though. That is a possibility.

Here's a crazy long lilac lariat which I'll list as soon as I measure and ... ugh.... describe every damn bead that's in there? My descriptions have been getting shorter and shorter. Especially considering how I myself don't even read descriptions half the time. I wanna just write, "Just look at it, it's all good stuff in there."

Berceuse- a lullaby.
So guess whatsicles? It's been a year since I joined the gym. Acatalepsy. Judeochristian earrings with gemstones in red.

Acatalepsy- the unknowableness of all things to a certainty.
I feel a bajillion times better though it hasn't been the be-all-end-all of anything. I'm sure I'd be so much worse without it.
Hierophant. Rustic cosmic earrings with tribal rainbow titanium crystal quartz points.

Hierophant. Rustic cosmic earrings with tribal rainbow titanium crystal quartz points.

Hierophant- a person, especially a priest in ancient Greece, who interprets sacred mysteries or esoteric principles.
Plus now I feel all sculpted. Like, my belly still pudges out and my ass is still too flat and my upper arms flap, but all in a much shapelier way.
Nourishment. Rustic assemblage earrings with forks and iolite.

Nourishment. Rustic assemblage earrings with forks and iolite.

Nourishment.
I was just admiring my shoulders in the mirror. They're no bigger or smaller than before, just shapelier somehow.
Eunoia. Rustic chandelier victorian tribal earrings in earthy brown.

Eunoia. Rustic chandelier victorian tribal earrings in earthy brown.

Eunoia is the shortest English word containing all five vowels. It comes from the Greek word εὔνοια, meaning “well mind” or “beautiful thinking".
Thank you guys for your comments it always makes my day.
Alimento Mori. Rustic assemblage earrings with skulls, neutral grey and ivory cream.

Alimento Mori. Rustic assemblage earrings with skulls, neutral grey and ivory cream.

Alimento Mori- n. the insomnia-borne jolt of awareness that you will die.
-The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

scissor pirate asked "What are those small round earring lever backs?" They're just small round earring leaverbacks. Found on etsy cuz i just wade through miles of shops till I come upon a prize. Search "round brass lever backs."
Wild/Free. Horsehair shoulder duster earrings.

Wild/Free. Horsehair shoulder duster earrings.

Wild/Free.
Oh AND my old printer is refusing to play nice with my new 'puter. AAAAUUURRRGGHGHHHH!!!

I mentioned in the post before last that I had to drill those cute 70s folk beads and I got a set of drills and half already broke and darlene said, "Wow! So sad to hear about the breakage. You would think they would've stayed intact under water. So, so sorry for your loss." Yeah, no. It's the drill bits that broke! The ceramic beads were fine, though your concern is very sweet.

Also nah, no underwater for me. I'm really rough on my supplies and tools, I'm just not patient enough to do things the "right" way I guess. But I rather I break things before they sell and the buyer ends up breaking them. Is how I justify it.

Also Rachel of MintMonarch sent me these lovely leather feathers to make something with. There will be a blog hop coming up in September, yay.

Now where was I? I yes today I think we'll do mixed aminal gifs. gifs,hamsters,funny,rabbits

I'm having trouble remembering what gifs I have and haven't shared yet.

I'm gonna be a doddering old fool going, like, "Have you seen that show Sinefeld? Gosh that's a great show!" Like my dad constantly quoting tango lyrics to me.
Cat Cat animated GIF

8/18/15

Hello!

So last week me ole trusty 'puter broke down, finally forcing the issue of a new purchase. Luckily, yesterday just happened to be me and Mr. Devices' TENTH motherflippin' anniversary, omg, so we gifted ourselves with a long-overdue upgrade. Now I have this futuristic thing floating above my desk I don't even know what to do with. Next time I'm sure it'll be a direct corneal implant or something.

So with the computer not working I took a hiatus. It's like my process is so ingrained- make stuff, take pix, edit, list, blog- that once one of the steps broke down the whole thing went to crap. I could easily have taken the opportunity to just make more stuff. But then I had to take care of Mom's cats, the nephews and niece came to visit, my PMS attacked... riots broke out, vikings invaded...

As you can see above, I finally busted out my purple bits and my red bits.The fun thing about lariats- they use up all your stash that's been waiting anxiously to be made into something, and they're so dang long you don't have to hold back.
You guys this screen is so big I feel like I'm making a cross between a blog post and a billboard.

Also, esty's acting up, I can't get to my listings page.

What other exciting news do I have to share? The naughtier of Mom's cats slashed at nephew Carlos and caught him right at a vein and there was blood gushing everywhere; it was very traumatic for everyone. That damn cat never learned to retract his claws, and we were all too distracted with the visit to remember to get them trimmed. And right as Carlos was sobbing and blood was going everywhere, his mom, my baby sister, appeared to visit us and pick up the kids. She just stood there totally calmly with a little smirk on her face.

Meanwhile my PMSed self was like, "You guys, stop yelling, stop running, stop climbing on me, stop looking at me, stop talking, stop breathing so loud..." I think my attempt at spending time with them by just slightly shifting toward their normal, human sleep cycle added to that a lot though.

Whenever they leave I'm amazed at what wonderful individuals they're becoming and also overwhelmed with gratitude that I don't have any offspring myself. Really, I don't know how you people do it. Hard enough keeping my own ass fed and clean...

Speaking of which, just today I went to the dentist after months of - for the first time in my life - flossing correctly and regularly. It was a glorious experience full of joy and laughter, I highly recommend it.