fanciful devices: 04/2017

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

4/10/17

Retiring the Blog

I'm so sorry you guys! I love you but I can't force myself to do things even if I want to, and the last few entries on this here ol' blerg were me forcing myself. I mean. You can have almost all the same stuff if you go to my Instagram or my Facebook. I'm going to start trying to be better about actually going to Facebook and replying to comments and stuff. Cuz I love comments so why wouldn't I? (Why do I have a Facebook phobia? I think it's cuz I feel like someone's going to force me to go to a school reunion while I'm there and I get all embarrassed when confronted with people from my past for some reason?)

Like all these pictures are recent posts of mine. Here's my most recent shop update pix.

And lookit all these goodies I got on my recent Uruguay trip!

There's tons of this stuff I haven't even posted it all yet.

And I babble about PMS and everything.

Also sometimes cute family pix or video from my time in Uruguay:

And if you wanna see what I think is funny plus cute animals with a bit of sjw stuff sprinkled in, follow my Tumblr. Examples:

Or whatever this is:

Also lots of memes popular among folks much younger than I who'd probably tell me to butt out of their young-people fun.

lieutenantfish:
“ pinkdryad:
“Context: Sims … 3? hat mod. Wear a bathtub as a hat. you can put a person in the bathtub because its still technically a bathtub. and then give them a hat.
”
tf2 in like three years
”
The sims this year

"Context: Sims 3 hat mod. Wear a bathtub as a hat. you can put a person in the bathtub because its still technically a bathtub. and then give them a hat."

See? GOLD.
So I'm not leaving I'm just going to be at a different URL. See you there!