fanciful devices: Randomest of randoms

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

1/30/12

Randomest of randoms

First off- you guys!!! I notice you're using the forum!!! I'm so crazy excited! Even though it's really confusing to understand who's replying to who. Cuz in the 'threaded' view you can't see pictures and the text is miniscule... And I haven't been keeping up there on the forum so if you still have a specific question for me, you should still add it to the comments.
But- wanted to let you all know that anyone who is registered (it's easy though a pain, I know) can post photos OR... START A NEW TOPIC!
That's right. If you want a topic about earwax, just go ahead and start one. Please make yourselves at home.

Just looking at all those exclamation points is exhausting. That's because I'm sick sick sick. Even foiling is exhausting. I'll be fine. Since Mr. Devices got sick, he hasn't wanted juice, and I've been too lazy to make it just for me. Surprise, surprise I got sick.

In the comments of the previous post, Skye said, "And that ear... you totally need a matching one, add earrings to them... then turn THEM into earrings! lol I'm sorry, but the idea of having pierced ears dangling from pierced ears is just too hilarious :D hehehe" So I had to show you.
<--Ear-rings by JewelIdentity. See, this Petra is a clever gal.
As for what I used to foil, just this-

Available at any Michael's or a zillion places on the web... But then I did want some more legit gold options... or maybe I knewI'd become addicted cuz I got this in the mail:

At 1st I thought- "Why'd I order a million tiny pieces of stamped paper from Thailand? I mean, it's not the best ephemera I've seen..."

Then a teeny gold square flew out and I remembered I'd gotten a hundred little 24k gold squares! And already I see a richer gold in them... It's about as sturdy as sifted flour. And I can make the gold-square-covered-surface effect you see on old painted architecture, if anyone has any clue what I'm talking about.

Of course, since 1st starting to write this, I've tried out some of the real gold 24k stuff... How right I was when I likened it to flour. I'm now just using it to add detail over a layer of the faux stuff... Life is complicated.

Isn't it just the nature of the web that I just spent an hour checking out the Barbiedoll collector's fancyprincess website? Oh yeah, I did. Cuz you all know how much I love bright girly plastic... dolls? I got especially riveted to the 'Cultures of Europe' page because they show the different depictions of the different countries over time. Can I share? I'm sorry, I'm so fixated on this... and yeah, someone new to this blog is gonna see this and run screaming but

Italy, 2010 Russia, 2010 Scotland, 2009

Hello sexy sassy ladies!
But then...

Italy, 1993 Russia, 1997 Scotland, 1991

Where's all this poofy fabric come from?
But then....

OK, here's Russia '89 in classic Barbie smiley face and 80s power shoulder pads.

Here's Scotland '81 pretty similar to '91. I would even say they mixed up '81 and '91, this one looks way more dignified. I'm willing to bet they did... But where's Italy?

OMG she's brown!!! Wow. Thank you, 1980.
Hmmm... I wonder how France holds up as we move backwards in time?

'08- OK, they chose a slutty can-can dancer.

'97. Still slutty/lacy with poof on head.

'91. Still slutty/lacy with poof on head.

'80 Still slutty/lacy with poof on head.
Hm. Go consistency!
And yes, I realize I chose to make these images almost invisibly tiny. I just couldn't have big ol' Barbies all over my blog. Too embarrassing. Shameful even now. But I was riveted, I tell ya! Also, I've decided Italy has no real national costume. That is all. I'll be sure to post another entry soon to knock this ridiculousness off the front spot.

12 comments:

Beatnheart said...: Thank God those Bar bees weren’t here when i first cam e for a visit cause I would of ran for the hills never to return. The Scotland B. bee has a different plaid so Yes! different...just ask any old Scot about their plaids and listen to the hour long dissertation on em.
My husband uses the real gold leaf and rubs a brush on his hair for static electricity to pick up the leaf...I watched him one time..yikes so time consuming...but awesome, beautiful and the real deal. He did not however do that ceiling . Some Indian restaurants put gold leaf on top of their desserts. Hey feel better...what in the h would we do without ya...; 1/30/12, 5:38 PM
Jean A. Wells said...: Oh, hi. I just stopped by to say how much I love Marina's jewelry, but I guess I got connected to the wrong blog or something. It was all about these stupid looking little plastic poorly and overly dressed dolls. Sorry, I'll keep looking...I know the blog I'm looking for is around here somewhere...; 1/30/12, 6:17 PM
Skye said...: hehehe I spotted the ear-rings and cracked up in a giggle fit... and I don't giggle >.< lol Then I saw my comment about it, and giggled some more.

I used to have Barbies ages ago...I don't recall ever having any of the National ones though...I did have almost all of the rockers, though, and while it was good that they actually took peoples complaints about Ken having plastic hair to heart and gave...the one rocker guy whose name has forever fled my brain (thanks the gods).. aw crap..Derek...it just jumped in there as soon as I was happy to think I'd forgotten that *sigh*.. any how, they gave him actual brushable hair... and a tan.. and I have to say, I think HE looked more Italian then that National doll does. While they've come along way over the decades in creating a wide variety of Barbies... they still suck at ethnicity. (is that a word? ) I think 98% of all the dolls are made with the same molds so the features are all the same and they just use different colored plastic or paint to decorate them ... and whoever designs the outfits needs to stop watching bad movies for their ideas ;) lol

holy crap... did I just rant aimlessly about BARBIES?! >.< crap...I'm going to revert to my new mindset now... dolls are creepy... thank you . lol; 1/30/12, 6:43 PM
Vintajia Adornments said...: Saw the ear-earrings and got the pun 'cos I'm quick like that, but my mind suddenly pictured eyeball earrings!

Hmmmmmmmmm slutty french jewelry - ya reco there's a market?; 1/30/12, 6:55 PM
Anvilartifacts said...: Hahahaha What I want to know is how did you end up on the Barbie doll collectors fancy princess website in the first place? That cracks me up!

You're gonna do some crazy cool stuff with that real gold leaf!

Hope you and the Mr. feel better fast. Sorry to hear you guys are sick :(; 1/30/12, 6:57 PM
Lela said...: suggestion: you best cut back on the cough syrup. uhhuh.

love petra's pierced ear earrings. hehe. fantastic. :D

I wonder what JAX would do to a bright girly plastic doll?; 1/30/12, 9:49 PM
stregata said...: I hope you get over whatever is ailing you soon - it is doing really weird things to you....
However designed those doll 'costumes' needs to stop watching 50's movies... Anyway, most countries in Europe don't have a national costume - various regions within a country might have a traditional costume...
Love the gold leaf - do you know that it is an art unto itself to use it... there is a special brush used to apply it (the rubbing on the hair is not to pick up static electricity, but to pick up a minute amount of 'grease' to which the leaf then adheres...), special agate burnisher to polish it etc.; 1/31/12, 1:09 AM
Juliette said...: Oooh, feel much better very soon :(
Loved hearing about your foiling adventures, I love foiling too! Haven't done much in a while, so it's fun looking through your things. Barbies? Eh…not a fan. Hah! - your friend, Juliette; 1/31/12, 1:24 AM
Penelope said...: It's common to get sick when you start on a health kick- all the toxins are flushing through your system and out the...er...back door. Ahem. That's the reason for the poo too, these ones makin' you sick are the deeper ones. You might have stronger pit stink too.

On the gold leaf, that's why I'm not using that stuff, cause I know it's like powdered sugar. I bought a gold leafing pen that' legit 18k, so I can just paint it right on. Ain't used it yet.; 1/31/12, 5:30 AM
Petra Carpreau said...: I'm glad i didn't give up on chewing my food then, if this is what happens!I hope you two feel better really soon.
Ha - thanks for the bit of ear promo!! But seriously - on the same page as shitting Barbie???!!! Get better and post again soooooon - those bitches are too scary!
Your gold loving keeps reminding me of my days getting templed out in Thailand, and my amazement at some of the most ginormous buddhas that people would coat in those squares of gold, when they had barely enough money to feed themselves. One of them had a toenail that was the height of two men.; 1/31/12, 6:18 AM
Jackie said...: OMG, it's our sweet sparrow!! So good to see you post. I hope your healing is going well. I'm still sending you prayers, love and hugs!

Fanci, get better, and knock it off with the weird Barbies. LOL Such a surprise to tune in and see a bunch of overdressed Barbies. My daughter loved the Barbies, I bought a lot of them during her doll period. Most of them ended up naked. Some lost their heads and the funniest Barbie experience was my cat holding a Barbie head in her mouth running up our spiral staircase. That cat just loved her Barbie heads.; 1/31/12, 10:14 AM
La Fileuse said...: French can-can dresses ? Is that how they look like ? Unbelievable ! I didn't even know. :D; 1/31/12, 3:25 PM