fanciful devices: 12/2013

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

12/26/13

Merry... New Year?

We've had family over and all that jazz so I've only had a few minutes here and there to sneak into the studio and play while wondering why people reproduce ever.

Here's some stuff on the work table (I have a worktable!) I took some quick shots of.

Just some work-in-progress so you don't forget me while I'm off being an aunt.

5 year-old nephew is in from Cali, showing me stuff Abuela got him.

Mom: Yeah, he got me to buy him all that.

Me: How can you say no to that face?

Nephew: It's a good face!

All kinds of shenanigans.

12/17/13

LIIIIIIIIGHT

Air-dry clay cab from Anvil.

LOOK AT THE LIIIIIIGHT!

Sorry, I'm still high over my white balance discovery. I'm going to annoy y'all to death with it.
Tune in for more one-year-past-expiration music videos!

I'm learning that if you do want to turn up the whites, you have to hold your camera 10x stiller. More still. Ben Stiller.

This was a little tin from Uruguay and into the back I tucked a surprise➙

This ax and plaster heart were K-haul. And tons of those beads were gifts so I am one lucky bitch. Realizing this, I decided to splurge on some beadage. But then what happens is all I have are crazy amazing ($) beads and I can't sell anything cheap. I'm too fancy for my own natural cheapness.

What's cool about these is that the opal (I almost wrote opiate) dangle is connected to the back post nut.
You can sorta see it here➙

So I couldn't pass up this purchase for just ten bucks➙

And actually scrubbed them with soapy water and an old toothbrush. Also scraped at them with an exacto knife, I'd be a terrible archeologist. So now I find myself the proud owner of ten million little religious medals. Earrings, ho!

I just love a ruined old medal. Also these rhinestone chain bits from Kathy I made into dangles.

With posts and some asymmetry.

This little silver case was also from Kathy. That strand of amazing green lampwork is firebabies.

I just threw in every awesome bead I could find. Glowy!

Between the Vast and the Miniscule. Cosmic assemblage earrings with gold leaf rustic bling galaxy nebula green.

Speaking of which, one convo bud and supply trader who I've mentioned before, Claudia, was complimenting all over these. I mentioned that the cabs were just cheap old plastic and she answered in her poetic fashion, "yeah, but
cheap old plastic + you =
G L O W B O O B I E S."
That word stayed with me and I replied:
"My favorite episode of jeopardy.
A: Glowboobies
Q:What did the CSI team discover when running a blacklight over a sex doll?"
She now insists I have to name a piece "Blacklight Over a Sex Doll." But which piece y'all? Now she's on a roll suggesting more titles in the same vein for a severe shift in the overall tone of my shop.
Hangin’ with the Macaques.
Black Garter Belt in Karate.
Hear No Weevil
Three Dog Night in a Three Man Cave.
So, in other news, Claudia's high...

Now I really have to go take a...

12/11/13

Lights! Camera! Ac- OHMYGOD LIGHTS!

Dudes guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?

I discovered the white balance function in my camera!!!!!!!! Is that a choir of angels I hear?

I've barely had to edit these. My life is solved. (The drops are little clappers from tribal bells. I always remove those to save for something special. The stones are Kathyhaul.)

One might say that knowing me I'm now going to go or already have gone overboard. To which I shall counter- don't hate.
(Cute little findings from etsy for some point-back glass opal stones.)

Here's a way asymmetrical pair.

Creamy sort of greens. Pro tip: search etsy for orphan lampwork. These are not pairs or sets, just extras the artists have laying around. You get the most amazing deals, and I don't like matchy-matchy anyways. Na0sGlass here.

One of you lovely ladies just sent me this tiny jar and I'm blanking out on who.

These and the ones up top with the white little figures are from Kathyhaul. I think these are king cake trinkets.

She sent six, but there were no connections. Wanna hear what my clever ass did? I took bits of raw brass and heated them on the stove top til they were red hot, then just stuck them in the plastic, pushing down as far as they'd go. Brass wire cools away from red hot super fast, so I then heated the other end of the brass to be able to push the wire in a bit more. They're way secure.

On shipwreck's advice, I bought a great big milk glass platter to use as a photo base and I freaking love it. Reflects light in a very special way, and it certainly doesn't get as dirty as all my paper does.

Here's Uruguay, right next to Argentina and Brazil.

OMG, lets all stop what we're doing and go now to BuzzFeed's 21 Reasons Why You Need To Move To Uruguay In 2014. I'll wait here.
OK? Done? OK. And notice they didn't mention that it never snows or that the food tastes like... concentrate of food...

So when I went to Mom's shindig I had to get all made up and I'm so out of practice that I shoved a big stiff brush right into my open eyeball and scratched the crap out of my cornea. It somehow didn't hit me til the next day.

The last 2-3 days have been a blur of pain and blindness. I couldn't use the good eye either cuz when I moved that around just to focus on stuff, it would make the scratched eye rub against the closed eyelid and I'd about loose it. Then yesterday it hurt much less with some of my mom's magical powers applied, so I could go around with the one eye closed. But thats when I learned why nature never evolved the cyclops. Dudes. Two eyes. Two eyes are a must. Dudes look cool with the eyepatch like that one guy on Walking Dead

but it's like seeing everything through a tunnel. It sucks. (If you do know of any ~~cyclopses~~... ~~cyclops~~... one-eyed creatures, please comment.)

Also, how do blind people do anything? Jeez you can't even put on music to listen to without being able to see! And I had all these orders to send out but I got them all fucked up. Sigh.
By the way, y'all made my mom so happy with your comments.