fanciful devices: Two babies, tax refund, actual baby.

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

4/14/16

Two babies, tax refund, actual baby.

How're my ladies today?

Mitosis.
Boy do I like a wide-sitting choker. Do you know what I mean by "wide-sitting"? Like it's not tight but it doesn't hang down rather sits in a big circle along where your neck and shoulders meet.
I feel like you can't really see how cool these beads are here. Each one is a little work of art.

So guess what I got? A $6,000 tax refund!!! Yeah. So I'm not as grumpy as I was that's for damn sure. Why'd I pay that much in the first place that I'd need such a refund? Might as well ask why the earth goes round the sun (gravity) or why the sky is blue (scattered light wave lengths) as to ask why I paid that much (stupidity).

The Truth
Here's a wide-sitting bracelet. Yeah I'm doubling down on that phrase! I'm wide-sitting on my chair right now. So there?

Tonight Imma wiggle my buns in my BollyX class. I really missed my classes when I was bleh a week ago.

Oh jeez I keep forgetting I have a new nephew to show off.

Look at that little curl, like he's still in the womb. And that giant foot! He looks just like his brother did as an infant, but has his sister's personality so far. His name is Marco. Squee!

Next up, baboons. Oh you think they're creepy? Look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself to stuff it. love hug monkey friendship