fanciful devices: HALLELUJAH!

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

2/15/12

HALLELUJAH!

OMG- I'm freaking out! Why? CUZ! I just made a mother freaking PDF TUTORIAL people! It's just that it's a whole new frontier for me, something totally different and for whatever reason that has me loosing my shit over here.

OK, so yamember when I did a sorta half-assed explanation of how I make these UTEE head pins? After a couple of you tried it out and told me about your results, I realized I hadn't really explained anything at all. So, I thought this might make for a good, simple tute. TWENTY PAGES AND FORTY PICTURES LATER--- I have me an instructional PDF file that looks quite profesh if I say so myself. Mind, it's not 20 pages worth of complicated, I just give lots of variations and include a gallery of finished pieces for ideas and inspiration. And each page has, like, 2 huge photos and just some amount of text. Because you know us types, we like lots of eye-candy and our opticals tend to glaze over at solid chunks of text or numbers of any kind.

Here's a text interruption.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Just because y'all are my loyal minions, my blogchildren and stalkers, I'mna give you a soopa-speshul sopraiz. For two, count 'em, TWO days only, you guys can get it for a 25% discount off the official, non-minion price of $12. Mind, I was thinking more like $7, but both Corvid and Sparrow insisted on $12. But since I can't take that much $ from my buddies, and you're all my buddies, you get the discount. Why only 2 days? Because real stalkers check in here at least once every 48 hours, that's why.

So what's the special secret coupon code? Err... artsyminions! Yeah, that's it!
So after I post this, Imna turn on that coupon code for 48 hours... and yeah.... you'll save all of three bucks. Huh. Sounds less exciting when I put it that way.

19 comments:

Anvilartifacts said...: Ok, heading over there right now! :); 2/15/12, 4:02 PM
Beatnheart said...: DO I NEED FIRE!!! LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT NEED SOME FLAME OR TORCH OR SOMETHING THAT I’S ASCARED
OF! or is it glitter and glue on a stick. that i can do.
Happy that you are expanding and doing stuff you’ve never done...that’s good grasshopper.; 2/15/12, 4:03 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: I am so proud of you, this tutorial is gorgeous, and I have been ogling your head pins in a lascivious manner for quite some time. Now to start making my own with this new tutorial of yours!!! I can't believe how affordable you are making this, and that is so kind of you to offer a sale to your buddies first. I can't wait for your next tutorial... there are so many wonderful techniques you have to offer and share.; 2/15/12, 4:21 PM
Skye said...: Congrats on the new PDF tut :) If I can remember when I blog next I'll be sure to mention it and send folks your way ;) I don't play with fire myself.. well... not away from a campsite, anyhow ;); 2/15/12, 5:21 PM
dinnaforget said...: sold.; 2/15/12, 5:29 PM
Jackie said...: Aww, I didn't get the discount, guess I wasn't supposed to include the exclamation point. :(
I really suck at the internet!; 2/15/12, 6:34 PM
Jackie said...: Oh poop! Not only did I not get the discount, I didn't get the tutorial either. Any idea what I did wrong??; 2/15/12, 7:13 PM
fanciful devices said...: jackie- not sure how to contact you BUT
it was sent to your paypal email. i'm sending another copy to your email listed on etsy.; 2/15/12, 7:50 PM
Jackie said...: Marina, you can uncross your fingers now, the copy arrived to my etsy email. Weird that my paypal email didn't work, that's my main email. I've got it now, I hope you'll be doing more of these!!; 2/15/12, 10:08 PM
Sandra said...: Hahah, the tutorial took forever and ever to download because it's so chock-full of glorious eye candy (i.e. lots and LOTS of BIG pictures). Worth every minute of waiting, and every cent paid. *adores* <3; 2/16/12, 4:55 AM
Anonymous said...: wow...things change

i loved you for all the free tutes, not makin enough off the jewelry?

it is a shame that things change

I thought of you as a real giver and now you are real commercial. So sad. And 12 bux seems high, could buy a whole book for that.

boofrickinhoo; 2/16/12, 8:32 AM
Sharon Driscoll said...: Nice head pins!; 2/16/12, 8:49 AM
Anonymous said...: HaHa Ha,
So glad I fit the profile of a
loyal minion/stalker and checked in within 48 hrs. I did it, I committed and actually made an etsy account on my own! omygosh... you're going to have me gettin my hands dirty one way or another! Thyme2bee; 2/16/12, 9:41 AM
Rosie Moceri said...: Nice job Sista! What a wonderful idea!

Btw, in case someone above has bursted your bubble, I believe in you. I REALLY appreciate your generosity AND you deserve to get paid for all that you do. $12 is a good price. Just sayin'.

Grrrr.; 2/16/12, 9:49 AM
Sandra said...: Can I smite that "boofrickinhoo" troll, can I? Can I? *rolls up sleeves* >|; 2/16/12, 3:54 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 2/16/12, 4:34 PM
Juliette said...: Nice work on the tutorial. Your photography is really good!; 2/16/12, 4:41 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: Reposting my comment but with an edited version only out of deference to fanci.

boofrickinhoo

Why are you posting anonymously? And I urge you to go read this blog post here about Entitlement.

http://missficklemediacom.blogspot.com/2010/11/entitled.html

For the record fanci has always generously shared her techniques on her blog free of charge, if you have enjoyed them in the past then why add an ascerbic comment now? That doesn't seem like a very kind way to thank her for what she has given.

This is an in depth tutorial that explores her techniques in detail for those of us who wish to learn. It isn't required or mandatory for you to purchase.

Considering that there are multiple tutorials on Etsy that sell for over $30, I think that $12 is more than a reasonable compensation for her time to compose, prep, type, photograph, and list this, not counting the supplies or time that she put in initially creating the technique.; 2/16/12, 5:35 PM
Penelope said...: Uh- Anon troll, please point me in the direction of the books that you only pay $12 for and get this level of WORTHWHILE projects and images. Practically every how-to book I read leaves me feeling cold on their tutorials, this one by fanci is worth twice what she's charging. The mere fact that she can't even sit comfy selling them for 12 is enough to confirm she's still giving it away for nothing.; 2/19/12, 4:53 AM