fanciful devices: shuddup you

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

3/28/12

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(Note: Sorry guys, I think I fixed the pix. See, this is how out of it I was. But the red gates have opened and its all uphill from here.)

I'm done w/the oxidation sub-tute part of the tute. Now the project and aesthetic guidance part...

Here are some grandchildren from AnvilArtifacts.You can totally tell it's her from the frantic energy and the awesome bits. Notice below, the soldered domino- I know, right?

Also these sweeties from 13Alternatives. I love the amber stack.

She has lots of lovely things in her shop to check out like these jellyfish:
Steampunk Earrings Pastel Colours - Whirligig Earrings

And from BeesOnPie (lol, that name):

This sea-inspired stack.
This being the same lovely lady who sent the horse hair- which I still haven't had a chance to use, busy as I am with tutes.

I've also received more mail goodies-->

Found metal from beatnheart and chunks of beehive (looks just like beeswax), paste paper and torch-fired copper from juliette of artintheredwoods. Wait, no. Mystery metal was from her too, cuz I see some in her earrings in her shop... So what came out of the beatnheart envelope? I'm all confused cuz I ended up with a pile of envelopes and this pile of goodies... Goddamnit, I knew this would happen. Thank you to whoever sends me stuff. The end.

Lampwork Amphora Crusty Relic Modern Day Artifact Blues and Greens

ANYWAYS. I also treated myself to this insanely glorious amphora from Numinositybeads as well as some of her ancienty beads made by rolling the molten glass in baking soda, of all things! Here I always thought it involved sand-blasting or something... It was my present to myself for selling about 8 thousand tutorials. I sure sold exponentially more of them than the head pins, hu? I'm thinking people like pictures of a finished project when they get them a tute.

GODDAMNIT- when im pimsing, I am not funny or at all entertaining. I feel like I'm dragging udders around. Like I need milking! Gross! Exclamation point motherfookers!

Look at them from this angle and tremble w/jealousy: