fanciful devices: asdgfadfhbvc

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

3/28/12

asdgfadfhbvc

(Note: Sorry guys, I think I fixed the pix. See, this is how out of it I was. But the red gates have opened and its all uphill from here.)

I'm done w/the oxidation sub-tute part of the tute. Now the project and aesthetic guidance part...

Here are some grandchildren from AnvilArtifacts.You can totally tell it's her from the frantic energy and the awesome bits. Notice below, the soldered domino- I know, right?

Also these sweeties from 13Alternatives. I love the amber stack.

She has lots of lovely things in her shop to check out like these jellyfish:
Steampunk Earrings Pastel Colours - Whirligig Earrings

And from BeesOnPie (lol, that name):

This sea-inspired stack.
This being the same lovely lady who sent the horse hair- which I still haven't had a chance to use, busy as I am with tutes.

I've also received more mail goodies-->

Found metal from beatnheart and chunks of beehive (looks just like beeswax), paste paper and torch-fired copper from juliette of artintheredwoods. Wait, no. Mystery metal was from her too, cuz I see some in her earrings in her shop... So what came out of the beatnheart envelope? I'm all confused cuz I ended up with a pile of envelopes and this pile of goodies... Goddamnit, I knew this would happen. Thank you to whoever sends me stuff. The end.

Lampwork Amphora Crusty Relic Modern Day Artifact Blues and Greens

ANYWAYS. I also treated myself to this insanely glorious amphora from Numinositybeads as well as some of her ancienty beads made by rolling the molten glass in baking soda, of all things! Here I always thought it involved sand-blasting or something... It was my present to myself for selling about 8 thousand tutorials. I sure sold exponentially more of them than the head pins, hu? I'm thinking people like pictures of a finished project when they get them a tute.

GODDAMNIT- when im pimsing, I am not funny or at all entertaining. I feel like I'm dragging udders around. Like I need milking! Gross! Exclamation point motherfookers!

Look at them from this angle and tremble w/jealousy:

Seafoam Green Crusty Chunky Blue Speckled Big Hole Round Matte Lampwork Beads -Set of Four

This one:

Earthalia Lampwork Amphora Crusty Relic Modern Day Artifact Orange Sherbet and Caramel Raku Frit Spots

26 comments:

Alice said...: Your post title....that's exactly how I feel today. No one is home yet, which is a good thing, since I'm likely to swing a bat or something.

Some of your photos are not showing for me....hhrrmph. Looks like you got a nice pile of goodies in the mail. And yes, I'm jealous of your beads-and that amphora you bought!; 3/28/12, 4:44 PM
Beatnheart said...: Numinosity is kicking molten glass ass over in Bisbee, Arizona..

Next Amiga...a for filmed tutorial with you on camera and showing us live and for real your amazing ways...; 3/28/12, 4:46 PM
Jean A. Wells said...: I am about two weeks behind my fav blogs and etsy so I missed your bracelet bangle tute - I assume its still possible to purchase one even if not at a great price, but, that's still on my list. Your students have made some amazing bangle collections using it so I know without seeing it that it is great!

Sorry to hear about your udders -- just toss those babies back over your shoulders and carry on, my dear. And anti-inflammatory doses of ibuprofen will help too!; 3/28/12, 5:06 PM
Beatnheart said...: I must confess. I didn’t send you anything...so someone must be stealing my identity.; 3/28/12, 5:09 PM
sarjeantandco said...: How about a tute on how to make a tute(toot)? lol.; 3/28/12, 5:25 PM
Jackie said...: Beautiful work ladies!! Marina, I'm sorry your udders are hurting, that's never a good situation. Glad you treated yourself to that gorgeous amphora!

There are 4 pics that are not working, pics 3-6.

Congrats on the tute sales, I can't wait for the next! I do hope you'll tell how to get the shiny off of the store bought bangles. I've tried sanding but I've broken a few of them.; 3/28/12, 5:28 PM
Skye said...: Yus.. strange things going on with your photos here, hun. When I first loaded the page I had a few not showing.. so I reloaded.. and now even MORE aren't showing... and when you click on one to get the album... they show as blank spots O.o I WANNA SEE THE DOMINO ONE!! lol I have dominoes.. and I've had fun playing with them... although the acrylic ones are a bitch to drill holes in >.< lol

And as a large breasted woman myself, I sympathize immensely... even if that isn't one of my 'symptoms' ( I get headaches, killer cramps, and apparently my new thing is to get nailed by either clumsynes... nope, it's bad luck. The week before it hit last time I smash my nose and knees in a fall, smashed my ankle in a near fall... and there was something else too that I can't remember. This time.. since it's a week before... I came down with acute bronchitis, an eye infection, and develop a severe case of nausea 50% time I take my medication >.< SO ... be happy you get sore boobs.. you can get nailed by a much worse 'symptom' ;) lol; 3/28/12, 5:29 PM
Jackie said...: Whoops, pic 7 isn't working either.; 3/28/12, 5:30 PM
Skye said...: Oh! I just noticed... it's all anvil's pictures that are invisible!; 3/28/12, 5:31 PM
Subconscious Dad said...: I don't know what word processor or other gizmo you use for your tutes, but, after converting the file to pdf (or "printing" in the cute Acrobat lingo) there are choices (usually under "Document") to optimize, meaning minimize, the file size. I don't know how effective this may be with graphics-intensive files, but in my experience it makes a big difference. I am telling you this via a comment because you don't read your email, and when we get together you talk so much Bingo that I forget.; 3/28/12, 5:45 PM
Melinda said...: Thanks for the mention! I hope you find something cool to do with that horsehair... then I'll start selling it, because you'll make it popular.

PMS is the reason I have all those stupid baby animals that I put up on my blog... they make me feel less like going postal. Hope you feel better soon :+); 3/28/12, 6:14 PM
neshuma said...: Subconscious Dad, it’s the Fanciful Fan Club and Ego Defense Team here. Your comment has all the grace and warmth of a stampeding rhino. And you know, it's actually all about you. The large file format didn’t hurt anyone. We’ll handle encouragement of
compression via zip file. Thanks so much.; 3/28/12, 9:47 PM
Anvilartifacts said...: Love seeing all the grandbaby bangles. Beachy ones too?! So pretty.
The pics of my bangles probably don't show up cuz they don't actually belong here. As I explained to Marina, I made them from her mini blog tute, before the official bangle tute came out. So really, for those of you who can't see them, you're not missing much.
I love that your dad is being helpful via your blog comment section! adorable.
The next tute is looking good!; 3/28/12, 10:35 PM
Anvilartifacts said...: Oh almost forgot to mention this! So that's where those Venetian blue Numinosity beads went that I was lamenting about on my blog. Hahaha, Great score, Marina!; 3/28/12, 10:59 PM
Unknown said...: gahhh pix 3~7 aren't showing for me,what am I missing?; 3/28/12, 11:21 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: Sorry but I can't get over "dragging udders", and you think you aren't funny right now? Not that I am rejoicing in your "pims" but that line is funny! Exclamation point because my daughter is being taught in kindergarten that you use an exclamation point when you want to express something with feeling...

Your dad's comment made me smile I can see you happily telling Bingo stories, I mean, I would too. Numinosity's work is stunning, I wish I could see anvil's bangles, but all the grandchildren look wonderful.; 3/29/12, 12:12 AM
Numinosity said...: All these tute bangle grandkids came out so much better than my pre-tute ones I did at Christmastime but now I'm too busy crusticating up my shop for you all.
I really do wanna see Anvil's bangles though.
Question- the oxidation sub tute is part of the bangle tute or is it part of the next one? I'm not so astute but I may want to be a student.
xoxo Kim; 3/29/12, 12:34 AM
Anonymous said...: Missing Anvil's bangles, sniff, but cheers for showing my sprogs. Loving all that crusty goodness from Numinosity and great to see Bees bangles too.; 3/29/12, 1:10 AM
Penelope said...: HAHA your Dad came on to your blog to talk to you so you would listen!!! AHHAHAHAHAAA I am so laughing at you right now. Right in the face.

I wanna see the pictures, they no worky for me either.

Your Dad! :D :D I love your whole family. You're my fave though, don't tell the others that. Also beatnheart has hit the head of the nail- VIDEO TUTE!; 3/29/12, 2:06 AM
happyfallout said...: neshuma -- but then fanci could fit in more pics in 25 MB, and I think it's a good thing. I thought about bringing it up myself!; 3/29/12, 5:26 AM
alteredarcheology said...: Hmmm, sore boobies, huh? Sounds strange but there is a folk remedy for placing cooked cabbage leaves on the breast to reduce swelling and tenderness after giving birth when your milk comes in. Wonder if this would work for monthly tenderness...? Worth a try, and then if your hubby ever starts a blog he would have some funny stories to tell, akin to your " I was afraid to stand up on the train cuz I think I shit my pants" story. SLMAO
And real lovely work ladies. Looks like everyone's having a blast bangling their days away.; 3/29/12, 9:21 AM
Rosie Moceri said...: Y' all are some seriously funny people. The sneak peek photos are making me drool!

Do you think we could oxidize the bangles we've already done? Specifically, can I oxidize the wire that is wrapped around the fabric? Or are the chemicals too harsh to be absorbed and then against the skin?

Love the photos... wish I could see Janet's! They're not on her Etsy or blog yet! I checked.

:); 3/29/12, 12:52 PM
Sarah said...: Poo! some of the pics aren't working . But I'm in love with what everyone is doing; 3/29/12, 2:47 PM
shibui said...: yeah I wanna see the domino one! Are you teasing us with blank photo spots?; 3/29/12, 6:43 PM
Anonymous said...: I just fainted over the domino. And that last stack from Anvil..gasp. Laura; 3/30/12, 6:08 AM
Rosie Moceri said...: Love seeing the updated pics! I'm super into the blingy bangles btw. I love rhinestones.. who knew?; 3/30/12, 10:47 AM