Re-emerging from under my rock.

Why howdy ladies, remember me?

These past two silent weeks I've been sick with the flu.

As always happens when I get sick, my meds sort of blinked out and stopped working. It's the strangest phenomenon.

And you know how when you drink coffee everyday and then one day you don't, it's much worse than if you'd never had any coffee to begin with? Yeah it's like that except for instead of caffeine it's the hormones that keep your brain working in a non-schitzo way.

So it feels like a really bad acid trip overlaid with the joys of the flu. Oh, and add to that the lack of inspiration I'd been feeling lately and, well, shit got dark.

I of course decided that I was stuck that way and that this past decade of stability and functioning was just a temporary island in a stream of despair. I remembered what it was like for reality to take on a creepy atmosphere of utter strangeness. Like different moods could color existence itself.

Granted, right now that last sentence sounds like gibberish to me, but I was experiencing that quite distinctly...

Aaaand, then I got all better and went on a bracelet kick, the results of which you can see here. So that was weird.

Every time I get sick and this happens I have a renewed appreciation for sanity, home, family and whatever limited productivity/functioning I am able to achieve when I'm stable.

And I remind myself that I don't have to be the best most successful artist in the world and that my pieces don't all have to make me tear my hair out with amazement. Rather I should just do what I know how to do simply and with enjoyment for the pleasure of of the work.

And if something doesn't sell, it doesn't necessarily mean it was a failure, as art is not always wearable per se.

The piece below is a perfect example of that. Like, maybe no woman out there wants Napoleon around their neck. I tried adding dangly beads to pretty it up, but they didn't work. This piece wants to be minimal and masculine and I like it so there.

Anyways, all the meds I kept lowering in hopes of clearing the fog in my head? Turns out I needed those and that's where my drive to do anything at all had gone to.

Not very romantic to think inspiration is some kind of hormone you can directly consume, but all the stuff that happens in our brains, even our emotions, are all made up of hormones. It's all chemical reactions.

But like technology that is advanced enough will always seem indistinguishable from magic to the lay observer, this chemistry takes place at a level of complexity so beyond our comprehension that taking meds for mental and emotional harmony seems sometimes like ...

Throwing aspirin into a thunderstorm? Doing a rain dance and hoping it pays off? Playing the lottery? I don't have a metaphor, it's that far beyond me.
In other news, this necklace was inspired by the idea of making something super simple and after re-arranging each element several hundred times for the perfect balance I've decided once again I'm incapable of simple.
Literally, I was inspired by this type of thing I saw originally on pinterest:

My only guiding thought being "grey bits!" and I end up with this unholy mess. OK, actually I really love it and it's not unholy. It was just a pain to get it all to hang just so. And I did make that simple Napoleon choker above, so... I don't have a point.
Let me distract you with cuddling cats.
The 40 Cutest GIFs In The History Of The Internet

The 40 Cutest GIFs In The History Of The Internet

The 40 Cutest GIFs In The History Of The Internet
P.S. My dear Emmanuelle at CreationsAsh is having a huge 50% off sale, you should check it out. 


Rebecca S. said...

The Napoleon necklace is perfection! I know I am not the only one of your lovely lady readers to have been referred to as a "little Napoleon"...I can't be! Right? That would be the necklace you wear on one of those days where you mean bidness. BUT. You also want to look fashionable and fetching (and share an inside joke with your sisters)!

Rebecca S. said...

And YAY, you're back!

Miss R said...

That one with all the layers...just lovely.

"Throwing aspirin into a thunderstorm." Yes. This. I want to borrow it when trying to explain things to people.

Glad you're back and feeling better.

Numinosity said...

Hey there, I was wondering if I wan't getting my notifications about you anymore. So sorry you were sick and with such dire consequences too, that must feel pretty scary and dark to dart away from your wlll of creativity like that and no doubt feel as tough it may never return. so great to see your pieces again and always a wonderment for me how you build such amazing assemblages.
thanks for stopping by my lil boggle today too.

Nice to know a few still are following my sporadic outbursts

stregata said...

I am pretty sure your brain is far advanced - your meds just 'slow' you down so that the rest of the world doesn't seem to be in super slow-motion to you.
But glad to hear you're feeling better and have your mojo back.

Vintajia Adornments said...

Boo on the flu and the unwanted consequences. Glad the light is back in your life. Now is Napoleon suspended on handmade chain? Love the 3 strander.
(not sure if the cat is placid or terrified of the claws of the sloth)

Penelope said...

Well I was gunna say 'chemical reactions are what makes everything in the universe, not just us, so could we not just call it magic instead because as we all know, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic and then I scrolled down and you said it and I was woah.

I like grey bits a lot. It's classy!

RomAntiqueSoul said...

I love all of it! Your creativity is unbelievable, flu or not flu, meds or not meds and you are also incredibly productive (if only I could even be half as productive as you are).
I like to call it "the black wave", for me it really shows up out of nowhere...I have to remember how to swim again every time, but I seem to come out of the deep dark seas every time...I feel you.
I'm so glad you're better.
Hugs and Love

Anonymous said...

so sorry to hear about the flu and the double whammy that being sick entails.
on the flip, glad you're back and you're latest pieces are some of my fave. Not sure why but can't stop looking at them over and over and over…...

CraftyHope said...

I'm so sorry to hear you've been sick and the meds have been wonky and you've been wonky, but I'm glad to know that you're feeling a bit better. . .though philosophical or something. The jewelry looks amazing as always. Your Napoleon necklace looks pretty simple to me, though the simple one; less so. Anywho, here's hoping the health (mental and physical) stays in balance. (awkward hug)

Anneenomouse said...

Bracelets already sold or will they be on your etsy?thanks for talking about brain fog issues. Hurray for eccentricity! That's what I relate to. I do such a poor job of acting normal. I tell my adult kids that I really do try to fit in to normal. They give me good advice. Stop trying just go in big for eccentric. Just too shy though & I prefer to be a hermit.

Anneenomouse said...

Are your bracelets sold or will you list them on etsy? I love them!

Wendy B. said...

I feel for you. As i near another decade marker and feel even more disgust that i am no longer physically the age that my mind says i am...i am just beginning to broach some understanding of brain configurations and chemistries. Recently, I have been second guessing my creative impulses and abilities all the time nowadays. i used to think that the only true thing i could count on was my maker's nature and some executions of ideas.
Your descriptions of how your brain worked against your creativity while you were unwell, was so accurately described, i am certain that many, many people could relate. I am sure it created panic and fear for you too.
PLEASE Know this: in any shape or condition you are in, you are one of the cleverest designers with the most innovative ideas and executions. Either in your writing style or your designs. It is simply more of who you are than anyone. Just try to survive the undertow when you are unwell. You will always come back with new executions and more interpretations of things well done. Bank on that.
As for your new work, it remains really inspirational and very interesting. You NEVER just phone it in.
Love and hugs to you in another post fugue state!

Subconscious Dad said...

I just read your post, and I felt a bit like an intruder, as it was so frank and intimate. But then, they all are.
On a totally different note: Here's to your 4000 sale! You should share with your friends how we are celebrating it. Pozole, which your Mom learnt from our Mexican neighbor Alma. Apparently today's turned out extra spicy (some confusion between chiles, Pasilla for Ancho or something like that). Mom thought this version needed a new name, it's POZOLOTE, an original by Matilde Rios!

Anvil Artifacts said...

So sorry that you've had such a rough go lately. It doesn't show in your work. These pieces are inspired and wonderful. Hopefully your enjoyment and pleasure of your work are greater and bigger than your doubts.

Feeriee13 said...

This is the place where I always find Inspiration. Thank you, Marina! Glad you're feeling better! xo

Unknown said...

Glad your tide has turned. You are an amazing artist, and I'm endlessly inspired by you. I wish I could post a picture of my latest pieces so you could see how inspired I've been, but I can't see how to do that here. I'll probably send photos on email. This is often a dark time of year. Keep pushing through!

betweenreader said...

Oh my, you've exited the dark night of the soul with a wonderful burst of beauty, especially the bracelets! And the Nappy piece is especially wearable, and would be great for a man. Sending love and admiration, dear heart!