Lumps and a Bump.

There is a specific magic to way my mom talks. It's hard to describe to outsiders, but Dad and I share a special appreciation for it, for the touch of surrealism it lends out lives.
Nature Nurture. Rustic Victorian Tribal long necklace with fang, hardware and gold leaf.
Nature Nurture.
About a year ago Mr. Devices and I were meeting the 'rents downtown and found them sitting on a stoop. Dad told me Mom had said, "We can sit here, right? We don't look like two bumps." To which he had replied, "Maybe if we sit lower."

The thing is that I get stuck on little details. It takes me a moment of imagining them as actual bumps on the street before my mind can make the jump- BUMS! She was talking about bums.
History and Memory. Rustic asymmetrical assemblage statement art earrings in yellow.
This is the reason I'm a grammar nazi- I take everything literally and get stuck on everything. But it also makes me more amazed at the stream-of-conscious redonk brilliance that is my Mom.

History and Memory.
While the folks were in Uruguay, Mom would send me texts. I jumped out of my seat upon reading that they'd gone to the street market I'm always talking about where I get my theeengs.
The Blackest Night. Asymmetric assemblage earrings with garnet quartz onyx gold leaf.
She reported, "We got a coat rack and a lump."The Unexpected. Rustic asymmetrical art bead earrings. Iridescent art beads, ceramic, key.
I imagined they'd gotten me something that she didn't know the word for so she just referred to it as a lump.

But then as I tried to imagine anything they'd get me that might be described as a lump I faltered.
A Tattered Prayer. Shaded moonstone, rhinestones and religious medals. Peach and grey assemblage earrings.
A Tattered Prayer.
And then I was like, "Is 'lump' even in her Spanglishified vocabulary?"
You've probably guessed by now that she meant lamp.
The Silent Sisters. Rustic shoulder dusters with salvaged tin. Long statement earrings.
 I smacked my forehead when it finally clicked.

I wrote back, "You got a lump so you won't look like two bumps."
Angeldear. Druzy earrings with gold leaf tin pearl dangles.
Then promptly gave myself the highest of fives.

I mean I was doing a victory lap around my house because of the cleverness of my reply. The bumps thing happened over a year ago! In fact, I'm just sharing it with you now because after telling this to a friend over the phone yesterday, I realized I hadn't gotten over it yet.
Unnerving Light. Rustic art bead dangle earrings.  Iridescent art beads, ceramics.
Unnerving Light.
So props to me.

In related news I've been singing "Bumps and a Lump" to MC Hammer's "Pumps and a Bump" all day, if anyone remembers that particular nugget.
bumps and a lumpAnyone?
Mom's gonna love this. This gif, this story. She gets mad thinking our laughter is a lack of respect. She doesn't understand it's one of the greatest and purest joys that comes with knowing her. 


Diana said...

Such a great post--Your mom sounds utterly charming!

StaroftheEast said...

That white bumpy thing up there is fabulous!

Louise said...

LOVE the silent sisters - beautiful!

Anvil Artifacts said...

Your low-sitting bumps seem absolutely wonderful. Even if you had a "My parents went to Uruguay and all I got is this lump" moment.
Great stuff!

Wildthorne said...

I can't stop laughing at that gif.... you lady are a treasure, I love these charming stories about your family. Those vibrant peachy headpins with the pearls and brass acorn caps are lovely.

Unknown said...

Everything looks great.
Oh boy, can a comment be more boring?

Hey, here is a good link for you

Anonymous said...

Yah, Spanglish will do that to anyone.
it boogles the mind.
we have the weirdest words at our house too...Highfive to your Moms :)

Unknown said...

How cute! I love your mom. That was a funny story. Love the blackest night earrings. My fav color is blue of any kind. They look blue and gold to me. Whatever they are I love them.

Unknown said...

What you about your family tickles me...my Grandfather used to tell me when I had perfume on, "You stink pretty." He was Russian...gosh I miss that!