fanciful devices: sale

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

6/6/12

Blog sale

So checkit:

I'm having a secret sale. *shifty eyes check for spies* Just for my blog pals. Cuz you all are the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Ridiculously true.
Oh, also because I just don't feel like putting up new things 'til I clean out some of the old.

If you buy one thing enter 1item25 for 25% off. If you buy two enter 2items35 for- you guessed it- a sampler pack of bitten-off toenail clippings! Haw, haw. No really, you get 35% off two items. If you don't see the discount applied before purchasing, you're doing something wrong! Stop, drop and roll. Then get back up and try again.

Look at some random blurry pictures of junk. And this is after auto-sharpen and unsharp mask! This is what my camera was doing yesterday instead of focusing. For a while I was convinced my eyes were failing.

I am having creative ADD like you wouldn't believe y'all. And da pims! So if I don't blog in a few days, it's because I'm bloated in bed covered in cheetos dust and chocolate wrappers, holding in a full bladder.

4/16/12

Tax day sale

Taxes done and done!
For purchases of 2 or more jewelry (non-tutorial) items, type in TAXDAY for 20% off. If you do wanna get tutes, get them separately. Duh! Exclamation point.

And now for alcoholic kitties. You will need the volume on.

3/1/12

Foiled Again!

Don't worry you pooperscoopers, check it:

Now, nothing looks interesting to me without foil. Like that hand... isn't it just asking for it?

Here's a micro mini batch:
The Describable Universe. Cuff and Ring Set. Recycled Rustic Biscuit Tin with Gold Gilding.

The Describable Universe. Cuff and Ring Set. Recycled Rustic Biscuit Tin with Gold Gilding.

Much Transformation.

A set, no less.

Since it's a mini batch, I'll indulge in two pictures of each without worrying they might be redundant.

He Had Been in Heaven. Victorian Tribal Recycled Assemblage Rustic Found Object Choker with Gold Foil.

He Had Been in Heaven. Victorian Tribal Recycled Assemblage Rustic Found Object Choker with Gold Foil.

He Had Been in Heaven.

I think that's a binocular lens. And crap I forgot to wax the old fabric cord. I'll do it now and hope it doesn't look different enough to require new pictures. I'm afraid that without wax it would just crumble over time.
He Had Been in Heaven. Victorian Tribal Recycled Assemblage Rustic Found Object Choker with Gold Foil.

So, sales are always meh for me this time of year. So I'm going to have a special sale just for you guys my bestest invisible buddies.

Teach the People. Crystal Quartz Points and Kuchi Tribal Belly Dance Charms.

Teach the People. Crystal Quartz Points and Kuchi Tribal Belly Dance Charms.

Teach the People.

20% discount, I'm thinking. Get some sales and celebrate that my period ended. As soon as I was finished writing about it- Pow! There it was. Man, I used to have a one male commenter named alek but I'm guessing all this period talk has scared him off.

This weekend I'll be in Wisconsin helping with the little goblins while my sister and her hubs move into a brand new house. We're all very excited about their big move and their posh new digs. I can't believe I just wrote "posh new digs." Who am I?

Sea So Deep. Rustic Victorian Tribal Assemblage earrings with Gold Gilding.

Sea So Deep.

Point is, I won't be around. Hopefully, I'll come back to some sales. I don't know how long the coupon code will be active, though. Fair warning.
Sea So Deep. Rustic Victorian Tribal Assemblage earrings with Gold Gilding.

Here's a picture of my dog I posted on the new Heartbeats forum thread.

My dog usually wouldn't be caught dead showing his belleh. He doesn't consider himself a submissive dog. Or, as my dad would put it, "You shouldn't penetrate his invisible core of dignity."
We often tease my dad because he can't say anything normal. (correction: "You shouldn't violate his invisible core of dignity." I knew It wasn't quite as creepy as 'penetrate.' And normal would be to say "He doesn't like showing belly." Or something.)

Meanwhile my mom: I tole da stori, dey all crack.
Me: They crapped? Mom, they crapped?
Mom: (cluelessly) Yah.
Dad: (joining in) They crapped their pants?
Mom: (happy at the reception her anecdote is getting) Yah! Dey totali crack.

Apparently mom worked with a lot of people suffering from incontinence.

And with that... type in CRACK for the 20% off.

Now here's some mail love I got:

From Melinda of BeesOnPie, real horsehair and the sweetest canister. little legs and bits.

From Rosie of EclecticTea. I realize I should have photographed this while it was still intact, but I started taking it apart before it was out of the package. Already the two pieces at either end you see at the bottom here are part of those earrings above.

Oh, here it is from her blog. If you can even see it->

From Roberta.... who I seem to have lost any linkage to. I think you emailed me instead of convoing and y'all should know better than that!

These stones really caught my eye. I've never seen anything quite like them and I love the chunky way they were faceted.

As usual, I feel totally flustered and actually embarrassed to receive gifts from out of the blue and never feel like 'thanks' is enough. Sometimes, the feeling of embarrassment will actually cause me to put off saying thanks to people! And then I can't remember who sent what and it becomes a ridiculous mess.