fanciful devices: Blog sale

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

6/6/12

Blog sale

So checkit:

I'm having a secret sale. *shifty eyes check for spies* Just for my blog pals. Cuz you all are the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Ridiculously true.
Oh, also because I just don't feel like putting up new things 'til I clean out some of the old.

If you buy one thing enter 1item25 for 25% off. If you buy two enter 2items35 for- you guessed it- a sampler pack of bitten-off toenail clippings! Haw, haw. No really, you get 35% off two items. If you don't see the discount applied before purchasing, you're doing something wrong! Stop, drop and roll. Then get back up and try again.

Look at some random blurry pictures of junk. And this is after auto-sharpen and unsharp mask! This is what my camera was doing yesterday instead of focusing. For a while I was convinced my eyes were failing.

I am having creative ADD like you wouldn't believe y'all. And da pims! So if I don't blog in a few days, it's because I'm bloated in bed covered in cheetos dust and chocolate wrappers, holding in a full bladder.

7 comments:

alteredarcheology said...: Hahaaaaahaahaaa.....I'm sorry, that last sentence you wrote....I'm pissing myself. (I have an undeniable love for the ellipsis too); 6/7/12, 7:44 AM
darlene said...: i agree. the last sentence was a good one. great mental image! luv, luv.; 6/7/12, 8:18 AM
Beatnheart said...: Opps... Caught tripping through those boxes of da theengs.
Hey iPad corrects THEENGS into THEE GAS! Why?
What's thee gas? Why would that make more sense then theengs?
I guess I pity thee pms days... Worse than being a dried up old crone? Well that's up for debate but hope you feel beta soon. ADD? Oh yeah I'm all over the map With that these days I've got about 50 half assed half finished stuffs.; 6/7/12, 9:04 AM
PipnMolly said...: Love your containers of jumbled stuff. No matter how I try to keep things organized I always wind up with umpteen containers of muddled mash supply hash.; 6/7/12, 9:24 AM
owlparty said...: Yummmmmm, muddled mash supply hash- that's what I'm making for dinner!; 6/7/12, 3:31 PM
owlparty said...: Hm, maybe I shoulda waited a bit before my last spree in your shop.; 6/7/12, 3:32 PM
Freedom & Fairness said...: how long will this fabulous sale be going on??? :); 6/9/12, 5:34 AM