fanciful devices

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

5/24/12

Lets Play A Game.

OK, that sounded like a line from a horror movie. But really lets. And whoever wins gets this ridic bracelet I made out of every colorful odd and end that's been hanging around w/o anywhere to go...

It's so da-gunned random though, I can't bring myself to list it.

Before we can play, we gotta go back down south...

Back to our favorite street market. And do what?

1st, just look at the pretty pictures. (Or, sorta pretty.) But then, to entertain ourselves meanwhile, well... like here for example:

You all recognize the above as a fancification of a classic movie line. If you can match each image to the movie it's bastardized from... you get the idea. Write your list in the comments. How to avoid cheating? I don't know! Heck, if you want the damned thing enough to cheat, maybe you should have it.

Never seen so many athletic medals in all my life.

Ok, I just thought this one was funny since among all these rare coins, a whole page of pennies.

10.

11.

OK, I'm not even sure I know where all these are from... maybe I'll just pick whatever comment I like best. Haven't decided. So that makes it rather uncertain for you doesn't it?

ZOMG!PONIES!!

So I was juuuust this side of oversupplypanic when what should come in the mail but:

The biggest box of anything ever. And addressed to "Marina Rios, The Smut Queen w/Unusual Sheen."
My husband was concerned.

But inside- look at all that color!

Hello sexy.

Teeeeniest little hook clasps ever! Which I luv b/c they look like fish hooks.

And tiny pointy fingers, and roses made of some kind of... paper? clay? dough? And awesome matte orange rings.

And this miniscule bottle of little pills. It's the size of a thimble.

AND! And these! And the birdies are about the size of a grain of sugar.

And fifty pounds of gorgeous ephemera, each piece individually wrapped. Or just about each. I certainly have enough baggies and bubble wrap to last a lifetime. Thank you waterhand you crazyperson!
*Runs and hides under her bed from all the too-glorious stuff she is now responsible for*

Later:
Just put these up, from before I left.
The Peasant. Rustic Gypsy Tribal Assemblage Earring Dangles.

The Peasant.
The Peasant. Rustic Gypsy Tribal Assemblage Earring Dangles.

The Crone.
The Crone. Rustic Gypsy Tribal Assemblage Earring Dangles.

5/23/12

Oops.

Almost forgot this little guy:
The Fool. Vintage Found Object Assemblage Choker.

The Fool.
Clearly I'm on a naming-things-for-archetypes kick...

So but I know what you really want is to see some theeeeeeengs... I don't even know where to start though. It's so massive a collection and I'm trying to keep oversupply panic at bay.

All these boxes are jam-packed with things. I don't even know what!

And clearly all these tins will soon enough be cut up into cuffs and stuffs.

This one for example is all embossed and just coated in rust which is somehow also glowy. Breathe. Breathe. No, I'm talking to me.

Why hello there cartoony Madonna and Child.

Not only is there more bronze than there is blades of grass down yonder, I couldn't find a single piece of brass anywhere or even anyone who knew the word for it.

However, I did learn that to bend bronze you have to heat it. Now I have to get serious with my fire and solder set-up.

Even the cardboard box is fulla stuffs. And old. And little tin pillboxes! I think that's what they are.

You side-eyein' me, Granny? She has a hubby somewhere. Actually, these are from my grandma for my sister. From Germany. Ooh la-la. Wait that's French. How do you say 'ooh la-la' in German? Just yell it angrily? (All I know about German comes from old war movies.)

Real silver Salt-n-Pepa shakers-->

That's right, they don't shake salt or pepper, but rather the female rap duo Salt-n-Pepa:

Ok, I can't resist. Let's just open one box and peek.

Squeeeeee!!!!
OK, one more.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Ok, ok, one more and then put everything away before you panic.

Ok, do your deliveringababy breathing... Huu-hu-ahh. Huu-hu-ahh. Oh damn, those little boxes there have little things in them too!

Close it up!!!

Ok, just one more thing. The little pill boxes.

Get in a little closer...

And closer...

KA-POW!

Aw, damn. My brain just exploded all over everything. Goddamn it...

little note.

These things from before I left:
The Wraith. Victorian Tribal dollhouse assemblage.

The Wraith. The Vagabond. Victorian Tribal Cowbell with gemstone rondelles.

The Vagabond. The Medium. Victorian Rustic Gypsy Tintype Earrings.

The Medium. The Aesthete. Victorian Tribal Assemblage earrings with Afghan Beads and Tibetan Amulets.

The Aesthete. The Scholar. Victorian Tribal Assemblage earrings with Roman Glass.

The Scholar. The Mystic. Victorian Tribal Assemblage earrings with Gold Leaf and Light bulbs.

The Mystic.
They're up now. You know what's good? Leaving for two weeks, coming back and still really liking the stuff I made. Mostly. You know. Damn I think I like them in real life much more than in these tiny pictures. But I couldn't justify putting up big pictures of stuff I've already shown you. I'll stop talking now.
As you were.