You're the Water.
I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I find myself with less and less to say when I blog. Of course, that's fine, since this is an eye-candy blog and not a things-to-say blog, but still... I know I should respond to your awesome comments and during my days I think of all sorts of interesting things to tell you, but then I get here and blank. The thought of sharing anything substantive is exhausting. Here is a convo I sent to Kim of flotsomtide a few days ago:
The Drop and the Ocean.
"i was thinking last night how often when im alone right b4 bed or upon waking my mind goes instantly back to how life used to be b4 meds, what an utterly different universe i inhabited and how that was eras and ages of time versus what this decade has felt like.
childhood alone was like 10 lifetimes. plus i mean b/c i experienced time SOOOO much slower than i do now. i know kids experience time slower but nothing compared to how i did. so that if i were to be killed off today i certainly couldnt complain, even tho i'd still wish i could finish up my jewelry im working on, lol.
The The Garden of All Hope.
but its something i wonder if i should share on my blog, other than the fact that by the time i have pix ready to share im too tired to make the effort to write in depth about anything. used to be i could babble for hours b.c there'd be so much going on in my head at all times just getting the .0001% i could out via communicating was a relief- talking and writing was the 1 thing i did have energy for, and infinite energy at that, because of the frenetic hyperactivity torturing my brain.
but not now. which is good, i was such a babbler i annoyed even myself. i guess it would be like a way to explain where all this cosmic spiritual shit comes from seeing as i seem such a silly goof when i communicate personally. i mean, why everything i make reflects this cosmic point of view.
Into the Love.
funny b/c a person who is spiritual the way i was is always some sort of 'seeker'. it shows that they are not in harmony w/the universe b/c there's something missing, something they're seeking, thus seeker. whereas now, im fine so i dont need to search for it.
Let Yourself Fall.
like the way they say animals are enlightened. if there's no question, somewhere you already have the answer. ok, that's just babble if im not gonna get into it and explain further but oh well.
Soak my Soul 2.
i gotta make me and robert some juice! i always remember the tiem carlos was a baby and yelling JUUUUUUICE! but it sounded like JEWS! so i'd yell CHRISTIANS! and he'd yell again JEWWWS! and i'd yell MUSLIMS! and crack myself up so hard."
My Ghost in Your Glass.
OK, that last part wasn't part of my deep thinkujings, but the point is just... you know. Stuff.
Oh and that Beatnheart of the "i love you i hate you" hilarious comments has nothing to be envious of, since before my 29th birthday I was huddled in a corner overwhelmed by mere existence.
The Angel is Free.
And, not to be a huge downer, but extremely suicidal for a whole lot of the time. Like ouch, pain, despair horror get me out of this life that hurts so much suicidal.
The Strange Pull.
Though I'm just as happy as a basket of bouncing puppies now. It's a yin yang thing.
Right now Cartman on SouthPark is singing "There are too many minorities at my waterpark" and it's cracking me the crap up.
A Hundred Silent Ways.
"And even the authorities...