fanciful devices: BASS IN YA FACE!!

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

10/22/13

BASS IN YA FACE!!

sorry, im listening to some music and it's got me all
←
That's just what I look like when I'm dancing. but also.➘
Cuz GET IT?

But I was asked for a selfie with make up on so here.

Here's the shimmer trick. And there's my potato shnoz.
Yr welcome very much.

The Stars that Shudder.
I showed y'all some crap pix of these so I thought I'd show some decent pix.

I think I'll just be making these over-the-top necklaces for a while. The sort of just happen when I'm not looking. Because of all the gorgeous stuff I have lying around it's actually easier to make these than to make earrings where I have to not throw every possible thing into them.

Nothing contains me.

gretchen said...When you made the Kathy's thing bracelet or other large curved shaped pieces, do you use a bracelet mandrel? I've been using an old wood baseball bat, mostly because it was handy, but I need to get something that will let me enlarge curves more easily. Do I need to get one of the 'for reals' tools or can you think of another option? Thank you, oh great and knowledgable one!

Neah. (That's the opposite of Yeah.) No fancy mandrels. Just my hands, like I said. Maybe I'll bend something around a bottle if it's stiff. A baseball bat sounds awesome! OK, that's a good one, you get a tute or gift certificate, convo me.

Shadow Veil.

anvilartifacts

17 hours ago

You're a riot and you do elicit hilarious questions from people. Ok so I missed your official question scenario, but please riddle me this....
So do you start working right after waking up or does it take you awhile to get going? Just wondering.

fancifuldevices

Just now

OMG- it takes me forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm stuck on the computer right now, aint i? then again today i woke up at the crack of 3:30pm. ugh, kill me. kill me dead. You get tute.

__________________________________________

Marcie Abney Carroll said...
I'm guessin' from your last comments, you were in ESL. I taught Spanish to high school students for three years and figured out about halfway through my first semester why I was going home so dog tired. Turns out it was like being on Broadway for five hours, but it's completely improve, the audience did not choose to see this show, there is no intermission, and they don't give you a mic. So yeah, I needed Rockettes something awful as well...

OMG, just reading your comment gave me flash back stress dreams! Literally. Last night.

Lela said... You warped an acrylic sheet with heat - very cool. Seems like that's where so many people get stuck. (Me included) We need to think outside the box. And I hate cliches like the plague!
Er, but I didn't do it on purpose. I was heating up some UTEE on the reverse side of the tin, lol. Did you get your tute?

13 said...Do you ever think you will (a) Write your own jewellery book (b) Own a bricks and mortar shop? It's great reading the other questions : )
(a) Aw, hell no. (b) Aw hell no. But especially no to (b). Why would I ever wanna wrestle with that mess? Wanna tute?

R. Morgan said... Question: What technique in jewelry making have you never tried but want to eventually experience?
Always meant to try metal etching. But I'm always so busy making things I have no time to make things, you know? You get tute.

I wanna share some things from awesomephilia.com now.

"When you try to tell someone a joke but you punch up the fuckline"

← "yet another unrealistic expectation for women"

"a little girl asked my friend about her religion today and said “are you jewish or christmas’"

Finally, the funniest quote I've encountered in ages:
"i put the sex in dylsexia"
No. Stop. Re-read this with me.

I PUT THE SEX IN DYLSEXIA.

I can't breathe!

11 comments:

dawn said...: OK....dylsexia made my day. I need to get out more....love it!; 10/22/13, 7:00 PM
Lela said...: I PUT THE SEX IN DYLSEXIA! very funny!!!

I love those earrings & that white necklace.

Did I get my tute? What tute? No tute.; 10/22/13, 7:22 PM
Lela said...: AND I am dying here - too funny that it was an accident that you warped the plastic. :D

AND you're so darn cute (even without the makeup) that's annoying!! ;); 10/22/13, 7:26 PM
Jennifer Valentine Morford said...: OMG. I don't know whether to die laughing or dies from gorgeous overload....
bunny humping balloon....then those earrings with the art nouveau heads....
LORT.
No wonder I try to stay away.
My jewelry already overfloweth with your awesomeness....and I don't have room for more!; 10/22/13, 7:37 PM
darlene said...: ~good on ya then~ as my buddy clive would've said. but, zombies are attacking and you're at your bench. reach to your left and tell us the first thing you touch that saves you from the onslaught. lol; 10/22/13, 8:00 PM
Penelope said...: OHMIGOD the lack of structure in this post...it's huffin' up my OCD... I literally had to read 'dylsexia' FIVE times to even understand what the problem was.

Apparently if you're really really smart, your brain just takes the first and last letter of a word and fills in the rest, that's how I read things. The Christmas thing was hilarious though.

okay are we still asking questions? I don't want a tute, I just want to know if you ever throw anything away, supplies wise. Do you have stuff you just think 'this ain't gonna work on NUTHIN' and throw it at the bin?; 10/23/13, 8:04 AM
Unknown said...: first...you rock! my question is; do you oxidize your chain, headpins, and other metals before or after you have assembled the piece you are working on? and what product do you suggest using? or could this possibly be your own home brew concoction? keep on creating...i tell my customers crazy can be marketable!
many thanks,
bobbi; 10/23/13, 11:37 AM
Unknown said...: You are a cutie-pa-tooty - who knew! I like the sparkles in the corner but no one would see them behind my glasses, dang.; 10/23/13, 6:22 PM
Beatnheart said...: i didn't get that lexsida joke...

the bunny on the ballon made me cringe and feel kinda sic.

you are so awesome to share and give away tutes and just be the most loveliest lil ole gal in the world.; 10/23/13, 7:40 PM
Beatnheart said...: the questions are so helpful to all of us...i learn stuff over here ...; 10/23/13, 7:41 PM
Vintajia Adornments said...: OK trailing waaaay behind in keeping up and probably comprehention but I have a question.
I notice lots of lovely chipped, distressed, distorted, maimed and altered beads and was wondering if you bought them like that or have you used brute force, ignorance and the inappropriate use of tools and other items to achieve the effect; 10/24/13, 1:19 AM