fanciful devices: and now for something completely different

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

4/15/10

and now for something completely different

Skinny jeans.
I've been fighting this trend tooth and nail. My husband is the manager of Levis in Bucktown and I never get stuff at his shop, even with the discount. Target is next door to me and I'm cheap and lazy. Plus since the only folks that ever see me are my (economically challenged) students at work, I'm not trying to look hot or hip for nobody.
So, my sister was visiting and hubs suggested stopping by his shop. By sheer coincidence, everyone was telling me my legs looked like toothpicks in tube socks in the jeans I was wearing. They had previously been snug, but I guess a bunch of weight crept off me while I was busy making kookie jewelry. And all my pants are worn and stained w/various crafting supplies (my favorite- the gel medium drips that invariably look like dried jizz).
OK, I needed jeans. But the ones I try on always gap at the waist, camel toe or just generally look crappy. I hate trying on clothes, so I always get tops b/c I can tell by looking if they'll fit. My pants are always a mess. Eventually, they got me to try these on:

(Please excuse the mirror shmutz.)
They fit like a glove but made me walk like a penguin they were so stiff. I guess I didn't believe my husband and everyone else there who said they'd stretch. I was wrong. I wore them yesterday and by night time I wanted to sleep in them, shower in them, get buried in them. They feel amazing.
However, I really hate perpetuating the skinny thing. And at work, my students are all Mexican and a lot of them are chubby... and they invariably look up to me, poor deluded souls. Plus, they worry about me. I'd hate to think that they think that I think it looks good to be this skinny. And that I'm wearing it all proudly. Plus I have to keep explaining that I'm trying to gain weight and I only lost it because my hypothyroidism medication kills my appetite. Blah, blah, etc.
And when I put my legs together there's a gap between my thighs you could drive a truck through.
I'll tell you though, before I got diagnosed I was in the official overweight category for the first time in my generally small-girl life. And I didn't care much then either. I mean, I cared that I slept 20 hrs in a row on weekends, and that my clothes didn't fit. I would've preferred to be thinner. But it wasn't in my head unless I was staring at a full-length mirror. Which I don't ever do.
Your point is what now? That you're oh-so body image enlightened, femenistically moral and superior in every way?
Yeah, I'll shut up now. Too much caffeine...

4 comments:

Jo Archer said...: Don't knock the skinny jeans! Jeans+converse+ t-shirt=very cool, and yours look great. However, I have just re-discovered the delights of.....the dungarees! I'm going through a bit of "Grapes of Wrath" phase at the moment, but they are just so comfortable, regardless of how fat or skinny you are. Sharecropper chic!; 4/15/10, 4:50 AM
Lorelei Eurto said...: i think you should rock it. if for no other reason than that they are comforable!!! No one cares if you wear skinny jeans or fat jeans or in between jeans.; 4/15/10, 5:13 AM
fanciful devices said...: ok, jo- what the flip are dungarees? i thought that was just an old fashion word for pants.; 4/16/10, 3:17 AM
Jo Archer said...: Ooh you don't know what you're missing,

cgi.ebay.co.uk/Long-Ladies-Blue-denim-dungaree-Work-Wear-Sz-8-14-New_W0QQitemZ180493399357QQcmdZViewItemQQptZWomen_s_Clothing?var=&hash=item6fc2583fae#ht_1473wt_941

Lots of places to keep stuff in too!; 4/17/10, 3:27 AM