5/16/13

I guess I'm doing Ok!

(Warning: you might want to read this post in manageable chunks over the next few days. Or just skip it.) 
So I had my sale and sold a ton so I had to stop the sale to give me a chance to package all that stuff up today. Tomorrow I'm going away for another auntie weekend with the gremlins. You guys gave me tons of encouragement about the blog, including via etsy convos not seen here. I'm so glad to know that my gifs aren't annoying anyone and my random vids either. See: "you dig up the best, smartest cool stuff for us to look at"-Rebecca S. That means I can keep dropping whatever I want in here. So here's some bun tongues.

Here's a quote that was way too insanely long for any listing but that expresses how I feel so amazingly well:
"Oh with my pathetic, earthly, Euclidean mind, I know only that there is suffering, that none are to blame, that all things follow simply and directly one from another, that everything flows and finds its level—but that is all Euclidean gibberish, of course I know that, and of course I cannot consent to live by it! What do I care that none are to blame and that I know it—I need retribution, otherwise I will destroy myself. And retribution not somewhere and sometime in infinity, but here and now, on earth, so that I see it myself. I have believed, and I want to see for myself, and if I am dead by that time, let them resurrect me, because it will be too unfair if it all takes place without me. Is it possible that I’ve suffered so that I, together with my evil deeds and sufferings, should be manure for someone’s future harmony? I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion, and the murdered man rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when everyone suddenly finds out what it was all for. All religions in the world are based on this desire, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I going to do with them? That is the question I cannot resolve. For the hundredth time I repeat: there are hosts of questions, but I’ve taken only the children, because here what I need to say is irrefutably clear. Listen: if everyone must suffer, in order to buy eternal harmony with their suffering, pray tell me what have children got to do with it? It’s quite incomprehensible why they should have to suffer, and why they should buy harmony with their suffering. Why do they get thrown on the pile, to manure someone’s future harmony with themselves? I understand solidarity in sin among men; solidarity in retribution I also understand; but what solidarity in sin do little children have? And if it is really true that they, too, are in solidarity with their fathers in all the fathers’ evildoings, that truth certainly is not of this world and is incomprehensible to me. Some joker will say, perhaps, that in any case the child will grow up and have time to sin, but there’s this boy who didn’t grow up but was torn apart by dogs at the age of eight. Oh, Alyosha, I’m not blaspheming! I do understand how the universe will tremble when all in heaven and under the earth merge in one voice of praise, and all that lives and has lived cries out: ‘Just art thou, O Lord, for thy ways are revealed!’ Oh, yes, when the mother and the torturer whose hounds tore her son to pieces embrace each other, and all three cry out with tears: ‘Just art thou, O Lord,’ then of course the crown of knowledge will have come and everything will be explained. But there is the hitch: that is what I cannot accept. And while I am on earth, I hasten to take my own measures. You see, Alyosha, it may well be that if I live until that moment, or rise again in order to see it, I myself will perhaps cry out with all the rest, looking at the mother embracing her child’s tormentor: ‘Just art thou, O Lord!’ but I do not want to cry out with them. While there’s still time, I hasten to defend myself against it, and therefore I absolutely renounce all higher harmony. It is not worth one little tear of even that one tormented child who beat her chest with her little fist and prayed to ‘dear God’ in a stinking outhouse with her unredeemed tears! Not worth it, because her tears remained unredeemed. They must be redeemed, otherwise there can be no harmony. But how, how will you redeem them? Is it possible? Can they be redeemed by being avenged? But what do I care if they are avenged, what do I care if the tormentors are in hell, what can hell set right here, if these ones have already been tormented? And where is the harmony, if there is hell? I want to forgive, and I want to embrace, I don’t want more suffering. And if the suffering of children goes to make up the sum of suffering needed to buy truth, then I assert beforehand that the whole of truth is not worth such a price. I do not, finally, want the mother to embrace the tormentor who let his dogs tear her son to pieces! She dare not forgive him! Let her forgive him for herself, if she wants to, let her forgive the tormentor her immeasurable maternal suffering; but she has no right to forgive the suffering of her child who was torn to pieces, she dare not forgive the tormentor, even if the child himself were to forgive him! And if that is so, if they dare not forgive, then where is the harmony? Is there in the whole world a being who could and would have the right to forgive? I don’t want harmony, for the love of mankind I don’t want it. I want to remain with unrequited suffering. I’d rather remain with my unrequited suffering and my unquenched indignation, even if I am wrong. Besides, they have put too high a price on harmony; we can’t afford to pay so much for admission. And therefore I hasten to return my ticket. And it is my duty, if only as an honest man, to return it as far ahead of time as possible. Which is what I am doing. It’s not that I don’t accept God, Alyosha, I just most respectfully return him the ticket."
— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov


Wow that was one solid block of text. Lets look at a corgi.
What the fuck, how about another solid block of text? If you wanna look at pretty pictures, go to my pinterest. If not, here's ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY questions someone forwarded me for some reason. I have no idea what inspired me to actually answer them.
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
Hubs.
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
Outgoing. Without, you know, going out.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Umm... is my studio a who?
4. Are you easy to get alone with?
I think so.
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
The person I like? You mean me?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
I get very protective of shy, submissive types. I like snarky smart-asses too though.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Just one?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
My dog.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
No.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
When I got medicated and became functional 10 years ago, I reduced my deep conversations a thousand fold. I’m happier for it. I have deep conversations with myself in my head as I reach for my morning meds.
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
I don’t have texting on my phone, so it was probably me on my hub's phone answering mom after she sent a pic of her cats. Something clever like “AWWWWW”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
Wow, I’m out of touch. So stuck in my head for no reason right now are a couple faves from the Pogues. 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
Get off me!
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
You mean probability and existence?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
You mean last summer? It's got to be me, in my life, making art jewelry.
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
My dog? Yes and yes!
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Well yeah but mostly microbes and stuff.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
Like from kindergarden? No.
19. Do you like bubble baths?
No cuz I have to scrub my tub first.
20. Do you like your neighbors?
Yeah! I live in an awesome little hood.
21. What are you bad habits?
Nail biting. Toenail biting. Not cooking healthy, not exercising, sleeping schedule all fucked up... drink coffee even though I’m allergic to it and it makes me fart.
22. Where would you like to travel? 
Hm. Always back to Uruguay but as in travel travel? Nepal. 
23. Do you have trust issues? 
No!  
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
All of it. From getting my coffee to settling into bed with a novel through all the time I waste on line in between. Except when I'm gumpy and PMS-y then none of it.
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 
 My intestines, I think it’s gas. 
Generally its my skin- I wish it was smoother and grew less hair and held my boobs up higher.
26. What do you do when you wake up? 
Pee.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 
Well, I’m practically transparent so what do you think?
28. Who are you most comfortable around? 
ME!
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? 
Hu. One ages ago that hadn’t been a serious thing.
30. Do you ever want to get married? 
You mean again?
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? 
No. Unless you mean like a thousand tiny ones.
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 
Ew, celebrities.
33. Spell your name with your chin. 
You first.
34. Do you play sports? What sports? 
Napping.
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 
Who would ever admit to preferring to live without music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 
No really, who would say they’d rather live without music?
37. What do you say during awkward silences? 
I’m really good in social situations. There are no awkward silences. Plus I rarely leave my house. All those things are actually true.
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
Well, it was the guy from the weather forecast but it was also my ex? And I had to go back to school but I forgot all my classes and then I realized I was naked.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Target, they have everything.
40. What do you want to do after high school? 
Where’d I even get these questions?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 
Depends. Did you murder 10 children? Then no.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 
I’m busy.
43. Do you smile at strangers? 
Yeah.
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 
Ocean, less hassle. Get back to the studio faster.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 
Pee.
46. What are you paranoid about? 
I hate phones. I don't know why, my phone makes me nervous. I put off calls I really have to make, I jump a foot in the air when it rings.
47. Have you ever been high? 
Guess.
48. Have you ever been drunk? 
Guess again.
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 
Hu. Well, I sneezed 10 times in a row and had this snot drip.
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 
Grey or black, fascinating I know.
51. Ever wished you were someone else? 
Before meds I wished I was anyone else.
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 
More energy.
53. Favourite makeup brand? 
No.
54. Favourite store? 
Target. Again.
55. Favourite blog? 
Awesomephilia.
56. Favourite colour?
Lately, ivory. But it’s more about color combinations than colors per say.
57. Favourite food? 
Coconut curry.
58. Last thing you ate?
Ugh. Frozen apatizers.
59. First thing you ate this morning? 
I think a bagel, but I’m drawing a blank.
60. Ever won a competition? For what? 
Two. One for writing in 6th grade, one for art in high school. But just keeping on keeping on in daily life deserves an award. 
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? 
For murdering whoever wrote these questions.
62. Been arrested? For what? 
No.
63. Ever been in love? 
Yes.
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 
I was in kindergarden and this chubby boy grabbed my cheeks with his two hands and smooshed his face into mine and only later did it dawn on my that that was a kiss.
65. Are you hungry right now? 
Ugh, still recovering from those frozen appetizers.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 
I have... neither. I have etsy friends. And yes.
67. Facebook or Twitter? 
Neither.
68. Twitter or Tumblr? 
Tumblr!
69. Are you watching tv right now? 
No but I just turned it off.
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
Aside from hubs and ‘rents,  my etsy friends. And my computer.
71. Craving something? What? 
A good night sleep.
72. What colour are your towels? 
Various.
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 
Three- one between the legs, two placed so that none touch my ear. That way you get cool ear all night.
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 
Wow.
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 
I think I have zero.
75. Favourite animal? 
All of them.
76. What colour is your underwear? 
Black but they’re the boring kind that come in packs.
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 
Yes.
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 
Yes.
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 
Grey. 
80. What colour pants? 
Um... ok, pink but they’re pjs my mom-in-law sent for Xmas. With polar bears all over.
81. Favourite tv show?
I like Daily Show/Colbert/Adventure Time/Ellen/Big Bang/Southland/...
82. Favourite movie? 
I can’t remember! Totally blank. 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 
Haven’t seen 2, but I’m guessing it sucked.
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 
Haven’t seen 21JS, but I’m guessing it sucked.
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
I dunno. The chick with the "wide-set vagina".
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 
I don’t like picking favorites. It’s the combination that comes together to create a beautiful symphony. Wait, Dory.
87. First person you talked to today? 
Hubs.
88. Last person you talked to today? 
Hubs.
89. Name a person you hate? 
Anyone on Fox News.
90. Name a person you love? 
Ma fams.
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 
Too tired.
92. In a fight with someone? 
My own sleep schedule.
93. How many sweatpants do you have? 
Two.
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
I don’t fucking know!
95. Last movie you watched? 
I saw the Reader and it was awesome.
96. Favourite actress? 
None.
97. Favourite actor? 
Yr Mom.
98. Do you tan a lot? 
That’s funny.
99. Have any pets? 
I have an entire ecosystem in my lower intestines.
100. How are you feeling? 
Meh.
101. Do you type fast? 
No.
102. Do you regret anything from your past? 
Deciding to answer these? Not getting help for my brains earlier. But I couldn’t so oh well.
103. Can you spell well? 
Well. HA!
No, I spell horribly but the red dotted lines help.
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 
No. I am terrible at keeping touch with past peeps and then I'm surprised they still exist outside of my past.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 
I’ve been around a bonfire or two. Was it a party? I dunno, but I was there so it should’ve been. 
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 
Maybe, ages ago.
107. Have you ever been on a horse? 
Sure, in Uruguay.  They’re fun.
108. What should you be doing?
Sleeping.
109. Is something irritating you right now? 
Yup...
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 
Sigh. Oh yeah.
111. Do you have trust issues? 
I have deja vu.
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 
My hubs but it was over a song from my long-ago.
113. What was your childhood nickname? 
Marina.
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 
Yes.
115. Do you play the Wii? 
No.
116. Are you listening to music right now? 
No.
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 
No.
118. Do you like Chinese food? 
Oh, of course I do.
119. Favourite book? 
Anathem by Neil Stephenson
120. Are you afraid of the dark? 
I’m all grown up now.
121. Are you mean? 
No.
122. Is cheating ever okay?
Yes, like if your husband is a sociopath or something.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 
I can’t personally but I’m sure one can.
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
What about blind people?
125. Do you believe in true love? 
I guess but I don’t know what you mean exactly.
126. Are you currently bored? 
Hm... more like spacey.
127. What makes you happy? 
My life. Making jewelry, looking on the ‘puter, seeing my mom happy.
128. Would you change your name?
Hell no- it’s the only proof I have that I’m Hispanic. I look hella white.
129. What your zodiac sign? 
Leo, rawr. And in the Chinese one it's tiger, double rawr.
130. Do you like Subway?
I don’t understand sandwich shops. You can make a sandwich at home.
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 
Star is a rom-com.
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 
No really, I’m pretty sure I answered this one.
133. Favourite lyrics right now? 
Aaaaand my mind goes blank.
134. Can you count to one million? 
No.
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 
"I know what I’m doing."
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 
Closed, then my dog learned to bust in and it makes an unholy sound.
137. How tall are you? 
5ft 3in.
138. Curly or Straight hair? 
Head or pubes?
139. Brunette or Blonde? 
Brunette but it turns blond in the sun. Which I never go into because I shrivel like a vampire.
140. Summer or Winter? 
Both around here.
141. Night or Day? 
Night I suppose.
142. Favourite month? 
Who has a favorite month? Oh wait, October's pretty good.
143. Are you a vegetarian? 
No but I don't like meat
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 
White chocolate is satan.
145. Tea or Coffee? 
Tea is gross to me.
146. Was today a good day? 
Not bad.
147. Mars or Snickers? 
Snickers the candy bar, Mars the planet.
148. What’s your favourite quote? 
"Quotes are for suckers."
-Marina Rios
149. Do you believe in ghosts? 
Not usually.
150. Get the closet book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 
"Shadow got to his feet and looked up into Mad Sweeney's face." 

10 comments:

Juliette Williams said...

Yeah!!! You like Neil Gaiman!! I'm going to see him in June for a book signing, can't wait.

The corgi made my day. Which has been VERY slow going so far.

You are loved.

Jiorji said...

i didn't reply to the previous post cos i tend to keep reading the blogs late at night and my brain is already fried and ready to just go sleep.

but i really enjoy your blog. and tutorials. or tips. whatever man..everything. i like it. i like the randomness even if you decide to just blog on random thoughts.

even at 7pm, brain is fried. it needs beer. gimme it. can't make sophisticated blog comment :\

Sharon Driscoll said...

Rabbit tongues - holey crap, I had no idea they were so cute.

Uh, you hate the phone...excuse me for this juvenile reaction but OMG. I thought I was the only freak about that. I so hate calling for things that some friends have thought I didn't like them. It's just the phone, really.

And, yes - I think it will take me more than a day to get through your post.

Love the first exert - I'm Russian in heritage (they are so frickin' dramatic - LOL).

Don't quit blogging. Not only do I love your creativity but you save some of us from thinking we are the only "odd" ones out there. Turns out, you've united a whole lot of us. :-)

stregata said...

ROFL
Love you, love your brain...

Star of the East said...

Dostoyevsky is a short cut to depression, you know that, don't you?
Avoid like the pest.

Sparrow said...

I read all of it in one go! Well okay i skimmed all of it in one go. except that big quote, the font was all tiny and i couldn't focus.

130. Do you like Subway?
I don’t understand sandwich shops. You can make a sandwich at home.

That's the funniest thing I have heard all week. I had a vision of you standing in the middle of the street looking up at a subway with your arms cast wide saying 'I don't understand! Sandwiches!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CAN MAKE THEM AT HOME

I would live without music rather than tv. Although there's a ton of music on tv, I guess they mean hand in your ipod or something. But yeah- tv, no question. I should say though I wouldn't say that of Australian tv, strictly UK stuff only. Australian tv is foul.

betweenreader said...

My corgi does that, too! Genetic wonderfulness, I guess.

I love this post, except for the thought of who made up those questions spending all that time thinking about them, except for the question about page 42, that's cool. "... with their bourgeois solidity existed in an atmosphere that always seemed a little stirred, a little charged, like the air after lightening."

Whatever Fanci may find worth sharing always gets my attention, as it comes from a wild and true artist. There has to be a secret to all that genius --always stirred, like the air after lightening. How can I get me some?

More bun-buns, puhleez.


Wildthorne said...

bunny tongues are adorable, can't wait to show that to "E". So much going on in this blog post. Your Dostoevsky quote cuts too close to home right now, but is very powerful. I read all the answers to your forwarded questions, you think so quickly on your feet! You're that rare combination of a person who has a very sharp wit, and intelligent mind that could shred people, but... you are kind. That is what I value about you most of all Marina, your kind and giving heart. Ok I am grinning at cool ear. LOL I am trying to picture you in this arrangement with pillows. Oh and I need your phone number so I can cite you as a reference for my future doggie adoption. Love ya.

Rebecca S. said...

Cute little fluffy bunny tails and bunny ears are over-rated! Clearly bunny TONGUES are where it's at!

Kimberly Rogers said...

I was just thinking the other day I needed more bunny tongue in my life and more answers to your inner workings so this post provided it all, you clever gal.
I always love your blog and look forward to all it's many splendored offerings. Oops I typo-ed that "love your blo and many spendored offerings" Good thing I proofreasd somethimes.
Loves and big feels from the still frozen north. My guy went ICE FISHING today and I had to cancel out on the farmer's market yesterday because of a wind chill of 18 degrees. we definitely came back from AZ too soon this year. Think I'l make some necklesssess or something next to the stove.