fanciful devices

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

11/14/11

Hello ladies.

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

Here's what's new in my shop:
No more reservations! Life is too short. Used to be, though, reservations were no problem. Then, people would buy stuff reserved for others. So I'd have to open my photo editing program and write 'reserved' in a way that was presentable so folks could still see the item and not just a generic 'reserved' image you see sometimes. Cuz I still wanna be able to see the item!

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

Then, I'd have reserved items sitting there for MONTHS... and people would be all 'Can you just unreserve this and re-reserve that? And remove the shipping fee and describe the origin and molecular composition of each element used in the making of this third listing before I decide whether to reserve it?"
So that's been fun.

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

Also, no more checks or money orders. While most people who have used checks and money orders have been fantastic customers, the trouble makers ruin it for the rest of us.

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

I'm still offering layaways with payment in installments but if I don't get one payment per week, I'll have to return the payments thus far minus my etsy and paypal fees.

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

Wow. I sound bitchy. Da pims, you know.

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

I'm even slightly upset at people buying up the bangles when all these legitimately nice items into which I've put, you know, thought are just sitting there... Damn you for giving me your money!

Breathe deep... deeper.... pass out from such deep breaths.....

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

...Go click on cute overload to get sanity back... consider rewriting every word here b/c all your buyers might hate you from now on...

...Decide 'fuck it' which seems to be your go-to lately...

If You Are. Bright Colorful Tribal Gypsy Assemblage Bangle Stack.

Decide to go make packages. Promise your readership to be back to your old chipper self next time.... Be glad said readership is made up of females who totally understand your mentioning PMS ever 3 weeks or so....

12 comments:

Jackie said...: Oh Fanci, I hope your visit went well. I'm so glad you've returned, even though you've got a mean case of the bitchies. Well not really, sounds like some of your buyers were taking advantage of you... shame on them! I love how you tell it like it is!!

Your work is so amazing I just love ya. Your bangles are awesome, I'm going to give it a try, I got some Jax and ordered some Dorlan's.

Take care,
...Jackie xo; 11/14/11, 9:45 PM
Anonymous said...: Sometimes you just have to lay down the law. Good for you! I'm sure it will only end up helping your business in the long run. And thanks so much for all the information about making the bangles. I'm going to make some when I get a free moment this holiday season.; 11/14/11, 11:33 PM
E Makes Art said...: I'm sorry some people are crappy and ruin it for everyone else. Boo on them!! But this post did make me laugh. I also have...to quote Jackie above... " a mean case of the bitchies" today, so I guess seeing your little vent session here somehow made me feel better. I laugh at your pain (only because I know you can handle it ) ;-) Hope tomorrow is a better day for you... or not because it makes for a fun post!

xoEsther; 11/14/11, 11:33 PM
stregata said...: Over here, a woman with a case of 'bitching' is called: Zicke. Which is a young goat, btw. I have always said it is a woman's birthright to be 'zickig' (adjective form of Zicke,; to be like a young goat, meaning difficult...). And most definitely, this post deserves the title: Zicken Alarm!; 11/15/11, 12:17 AM
carol said...: hi fanci,

i think you need:
a) a stiff drink
b) a holiday (thats what i use for my excuse)

but i can see how that stuff gets up your snoza.... oops... hope i'm not one of the offenders.

but
you must admit .. those bangle stacks are pretty gorgeous and impressive..

and can i reserve... (haha.. just kidding)..

and
please don't change...
we luv you just the way you are

caRolS; 11/15/11, 12:41 AM
Penelope said...: I don't think anyone's going to hate you! In actual fact I think they will worship you more; you will become this fabulously luxurious item that you have to be quick to get. Ann Wood sells her stuff with no reserves (or layaways!) and everything on her website is constantly sold out.

'fuck it' is the new multitasking.; 11/15/11, 3:19 AM
Unknown said...: it's your blog, your shop, you're the designer and artist - you get to say whatever you want! just stumbled upon your etsy shop and LOVE each and every item. really amazing stuff! so much ... i don't even know what words to use to describe it... just fabulous! glad to have found you. will stop in again soon. :); 11/15/11, 3:25 AM
Petra Carpreau said...: Bitchin' not bitcheee!! Just adds to the pleasure of your posting for me! Besides - if there's some clowns out there taking advantage, then you need to pull them back in line. Shame on them anyway.
Those bloody bangles are getting ever more gorgeous - silly moo, it's no wonder people just can't help themselves.
I've now got the impossible task of putting togther my homage to you on my blog - you get first spot! I think I'm starting to get the hang of it all slowly. Hope you get time to peep at it.
Glad to see you back - and hope you had a good trip.
Petra x; 11/15/11, 4:04 AM
Anonymous said...: I hear ya, sista. Don't let the crazies take advantage of your wonderful self. You are the boss of yourself and your shop, so you make the rules. Keep creating your wonderful wares and don't let the world get in you way.
Regina Moore; 11/15/11, 6:57 AM
Jackie said...: And she upped the bangles from $90 to $105...YOU GO GIRL!! That's more in line with their value.
...Jackie xo; 11/15/11, 7:33 AM
Subconscious Dad said...: Bitching or not, Congratulations!
Guess what you are celebrating today?; 11/15/11, 10:32 AM
La Fileuse said...: I love you, no matter what. Yet, not more than my boyfriend, parents, clothes, friends, bed, hair...

Seriously. I've learned a lot since I'm here. I read everything til the end of your posts aaaaaannnd I don't need a dictionary (that's a good point, really!).

Do what you want, it's still ok.; 11/15/11, 2:15 PM