11/20/12

Hello From Snot Central

I'm really sick y'all. My face is a living snot fountain. And it attacked me the very same day as my period, so it's a bodily fluid free-for-all.
Peppermint Swirl Martini Bowtie Dog Collar
I literally faved this off etsy, after
 seeing it on readbwtween's faves,
just because of that redonk extression.
My doggie's going, "ooo..WOOO-WOOO!" at some suspicious passers-by then running in here going, "Eee-eee" and licking my hand to comfort himself after that dangerous confrontation. Now he's back at the window and I here him going, "Mmmmm.... mmmm.... I'm warning you, mmmm....."  He protects us from dubious squirrels and questionable mail delivery personnel.

Here's some rings I'm working on.

So, living in Chicago is an awful lot like living in Tupperware. Do you all know the wonders of the screen layer?
So here's a rudimentary photoshop screenshot I found on the web. Looks like Photoshop version negative eight from the 1850s but whatev. Anyways, see the top menu bar where it says "Layers" click that and select "duplicate layer" from the pop-down menu or whatever that's called. It will ask you if you want a duplicate layer, click return. (I think I have photoshop 6.0. Hopefully in future editions, it will stop asking you if you really want what you just selected. Oh my god they make me mad.... [breathe.... ] No really, you guys have no idea.)Adobe Photoshop 5.5 Screenshot
If you'll notice in the lower right there's a tab that says "layers". Now that you've selected an extra one, it may look something like this:

This whole layers box is like the only thing I use from the right hand column. Do you know you can actually click it and drag it over to your photo, thus making you have to mouse around the screen less? And when you're editing 100 images at a time, that shit counts. Anyways, see where it says "Normal" right under "Layers"? Click that. A pop-down menu will appear. Are they called pop-down? I don't think so but they should be 'cause that's what they do. Anyways, select 'screen'. You'll see your image go from, say this:

to this:
(Yeah, these are my attempt at cookie cutter bezel pendants. What I've learned from this is why so many people decorate their Christmas trees with vintage cookie cutters! Because they're huge and look just like ornaments. So guess what guys? I made ornaments! )

If it's too bright, you can go to opacity and fiddle with that. If it's just a blinding white, you can add another layer and select "Multiply" for it and fiddle with that opacity. If it's not bright enough, which round here is more likely, you can add another screen layer at, say, 50%. Now, if you don't know layers (and who in the jewelry making game does? Sparrow, that's who), you might be asking yourself why not just go to image, select brighness/contrast and fiddle with that. Those are functions that you want to know more about, yes.  But there's more subtlety and detail with layers. I was going to put some examples here but then I got a fever, a pounding headache and a sore throat and all that led to a bad case of don't-give-a-fuck.
Look at some pictures:
These look  weird. Shit.


I made one of these ages ago, someone asked for another and it just so happened I had the exact same piece of tea tin from the other side of the container (from this mgahaul from SacredCake) ready to go.  I thought I'd done good making it less grungy than last time:RESERVED

 But she wanted it dark and grungy! 
Speaking of cuffs, I made a shitload using brass cuff bases and images and resins.
Look, this one has a weenis:
"Weenis" is my husband's name for my dog's penis when it sticks out. "He has a weeeeenis!" He'll squeal in glee. Robert thinks it's really funny. Let's go on to the next cuff, shall we?


Another one! And there's resin then there's Utee. And the Utee's all wonky. There shouldn't be Utee. There shouldn't be cuffs with resin transfers. They demand a certain level of perfection that I'm not about. 
I'm not about perfection!But it was too late, I'd already gotten in too deep...
Another thing. Gilder's Paste never cures. Years later you can be handling, say, a cuff that has, oh, black gilder's paste all over it and next thing you know your hands are all black. FUCKEDDYFUCK.
So there's this thing. There's a layer of resin paper with resin, there's Utee, there's gold pigment powders, there's black gilder's paste. Unless one of you want this... maybe I'll just hammer all this crap off of it and start again from zero. It's all crusty on the reverse:

And if you do want it, you get the extra plus of getting black shit all over your wrist and clothing.  

You know how I've mentioned my inability to say anything of importance recently? Well, this lovely lady got some good ideas out of me in an interview here. It's very strange to be interviewed. But you know what's good? The other day, my mom handed me a platter of brownies and the skies parted and angels sang. 


8 comments:

13 said...

Lol weenis!!! Makes me want to run around my daughter's playground yelling weenis at the top of my voice. And there's a scorpion on it, makes me want to show it to men and watch them cry. Rings- about time too, love those big time.

Cate said...

just like stepping inside a good story, your blog is!

our kids are back home for Thanksgiving, I have students coming for lessons and classes today and I am in my basement looking at this.....

Jackie said...

Sorry to hear of your "bodily fluid free-for-all". I was so completely Photoshop lost, but amused by your Tupperware reference. The cookie cutters look awesome, you sure transformed 'em! My Gilder's paste is pretty much cured in the can. I do like those cans. I think the paste can be brought back to life with a little of the bad smelling stuff!

Love the cuffs! Gotta go, want to read your interview! Have a nice Thanksgiving!

Jackie said...

WTF just happened to my comment??

Okay...redo...

Sorry to hear of your "bodily fluid free-for-all". I was so completely Photoshop lost, but amused by your Tupperware reference. The cookie cutters look awesome, you sure transformed 'em! My Gilder's paste is pretty much cured in the can. I do like those cans. I think the paste can be brought back to life with a little of the bad smelling stuff!

Love the cuffs! Gotta go, want to read your interview! Have a nice Thanksgiving!

Beatnheart said...

geez even when your sick you can’t shut up....

love those rings...their gonna fly off the shelves.

Photoshop turns me off like a 8am history class.

feel better soon.

happy thanks.G.

Jiorji said...

those rings are fantastic! :D
i'm teaching myself metalsmithing and bezel shaping is a biaaatch! i like how you do your bezel/stone combination..with..resin...??

Blackwillow Boho said...

Good grief, I am in love with those rings.....

CraftyHope said...

Weenis has a whole different meaning in our household. . .we use it to refer to that extra skin that's on your elbow when your arm is straight. I believe some kid versed us in this slang term at some point. It even has an urban dictionary entry, but the definition we use seems to be hotly contested: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=weenis