fanciful devices: Hello Gorgeous Ladies.

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

1/3/13

Hello Gorgeous Ladies.

Who make me so so happy with your gorgeous comments. I'm sitting here like:

Quick note to announce free shipping sale for FIRST CLASS (not priority, sorry) worldwide shipping. Use coupon code SHIPFREE.
(I realized the other day that when someone comes back for more after an initial purchase from me, my instant reaction is, "Yay! That means I managed to keep the dog hair trapped under the packaging tape to a minimum.")

5 comments:

StaroftheEast said...: Girl, you have no clue. The dog's hair is just the bee's knees. Customers come back for the rest of the bee :); 1/4/13, 6:42 AM
Unknown said...: I had to run to the bathroom rather quickly after that post. I've always double checked for hair balls. It's in photos and probably in my coffee this morning.; 1/4/13, 10:02 AM
Penelope said...: YAY memeface! I love them. I think you're becoming an expert at the dog hair thing, cause I didn't see a single one when I opened my parcel this week. Not a one!; 1/4/13, 10:07 AM
Anonymous said...: did somebody get an iphone?; 1/4/13, 10:26 AM
Jiorji said...: omg pet hair!! i have one of those lint rollers that i use and de-hair everything before i send it. i once found pet hair on one of my purchases and i thought "YES!! AWESOME!! a little gift!!" :D

but then again i might be the only psycho out there that gets super happy over foreign pet fur. siighh...winter...need to get out more haha; 1/4/13, 2:56 PM