fanciful devices: Shamefully Outed

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

3/29/11

Shamefully Outed

Lol, you guys! Your last batch of comments made me feel like a movie star. And anonymous, I hardly ever wear jewelry!!! I'm too butch. Girly things feel like a sign of weakness somehow. I know! I'm weird! Mostly, though, I work with folks who grew up without electricity or running water so their view of aesthetics is pretty limited. I tried wearing some of my tamer stuff to class and they all stared at me like a dog going 'baroo?' It's embarrassing.
And Sparrow? I never thought cockles meant genitalia, you perv! But yeah, it is a much better story. I need to make up stuff like that for my listing narratives.

OK. ANYWAYS.
I got a specific request from CorvidDelights to take and post pictures of the stuff I made for my cousins when I see them in Uruguay. I think she wants to out me as a closet cheese-ball. What can I say, these charms are cute and easy and cheap. I was too cheap to even buy settings, gluing the cabs on whatever I could find.

"Oh, wow," said Mom, "Where'd you get all these little things?"
"Well, these charms and flowers come from factories in Hong Kong."
"But what about these little things? a skate.... a fan... a camera..."

And that's how I learned my mom didn't know the word 'charms'.

The binoculars fold in half. Now come on! That's cute.

Check out the fluorescent one:

Whoever gets this one might not be thrilled. If I wasn't lazy I might add a wash of white acrylic to the pinks....

I also got a buncha woodcuts from Porkchopshow for brooches:

And you know I'd always wanted an excuse to get me some of these.

Easy peasy! Man my little 5 year old nephew said that the other day and I almost died from cute overdose. Wait, that's the name of a website. Cute shock? Acute cuteness toxicity?

Now I wish these had been out when I was gathering supplies: Wood Acrobats Fly and be Free

(They look way bright next to my desaturated pictures, though.)

2 comments:

Flotsam Tide said...: Fanci, these are wonderful! Thanks for posting, I get a huge grin seeing your take on the floral cab. I love how the chains are a nice dark contrast to the flowers, it gives them a cool edge. Those bird pins are awesome! I'm gonna put in a request. :); 3/30/11, 2:46 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/30/11, 2:46 PM