fanciful devices: This is what I look like

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

3/26/11

This is what I look like

I've noticed people put pictures of themselves on their blogs. I only ever did the one time w/the tattoos and my face was behind the camera. So I thought since I can't make stuff...
I have no pictures of me, so I took some before going to work yesterday, since that's when I have on my all-important makeup.

Here's a full-length. Oh, except legs. I have no legs. No! I have legs, stumpy as they may be! I even whited out the background to save y'all from seeing tumbleweeds of dog hair rolling by behind me in the full-length mirror. Cuz I'm thoughtful.

Here's me in the downstairs bathroom. I thought I looked awful dour considering how goofy and smiley I am so I tried a smile:

And it turned out totally fake! So there you go. There's my fake smile. Still, not bad for 36. Sure was cuter at 26, though. But still. That sweater is frumpy. Maybe next time I'll do a sexy one ... in my PVC dominatrix outfit? With my husband tied up with the ropes and pulleys? Yeah.

Oh, also: this coming week I'm off to the magical land of Uruguay. So my shop will close down around the 29th to be opened again I think the 17th. And while everyone in Uruguay is constantly claiming that there are cyber cafes everywhere, I saw nary a one last time. So, I will be out of touch except for when I can steal a cousin's computer. I love you guys!

Thanks again for all the lovely well-wishes, they warm the cockles of my heart. Which has cockles, doncha know.

9 comments:

Jennifer Valentine Morford said...: You look exotic and beautiful.,,like your creations...
And I love your dimples!
Even your face shows the complexity and soulfulness that your work has...
Does that sound strange?.....
Well I never said I wasn't a little strange.,,
I will seriously miss you!!!
Sigh.
xox; 3/26/11, 12:07 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: Damn fanci you're a looker. :) What a surprise and treat to see your lovely face. I am so excited for you and your upcoming trip to Uruguay.; 3/26/11, 2:30 PM
Regina said...: So glad to hear the palm and you are happy. You look happy! and pretty! Good to see you. Have a safe and happy trip to Uruguay. I am sure you will bring back many goodies.; 3/26/11, 3:49 PM
stregata said...: Wishing you a safe and wonderful trip, as well as many exciting treasures to find. But don't forget to come back - what would we do without you?; 3/27/11, 12:33 AM
steufel said...: Wish you a wonderful trip!; 3/27/11, 3:44 AM
Penelope said...: You ARE cute! I already knew that though. And you still look 26 to me- admittedly I don't know why you looked like then, but you sure as sugar don't look 36.

Do you know the word cockles actually means what you think it means? Back in the middle ages, people believed the human heart had genitals.

okay that's a lie. It's another word for chamber. My version of the truth is more fun though.; 3/27/11, 8:54 AM
betweenreader said...: My suspicions are confirmed, you are beautiful! Have a lovely trip, enjoy your homeland and when you come back, have a good wrist. xoxoxo, P.; 3/27/11, 10:19 AM
Anonymous said...: You are a doll! There is only one little thing....

no earrings?

no necklace?

I know where you can get some seriously cute stuff ;)

I think you better have a do-over.

(on a make-up morning, of course ;); 3/27/11, 10:34 AM
Unknown said...: I knew you were a Dominatrix!
Glad to hear the lovely talented hands are healing well.
Safe travels to your home country and I will miss you.; 3/27/11, 9:14 PM