fanciful devices: And now for some unrelated ranting.

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

6/1/11

And now for some unrelated ranting.

Today while my students were taking a test, I thought I'd do some old-fashioned writing by hand. Something one can do without the left, carpel-tunnel-y one. Somehow it turned angry...

I know, it gets pretty bleak. But in the interest of full disclosure I thought I'd permit you this peek at the grim underbelly of my psyche. And for some reason the next part won't let me enlarge it without it getting cut off by the really important stuff on my right sidebar. So squint, suckers.

The next part is made even more maddening by the fact that it is both A) a lyric in a popular Kanye West song and B) printed in huge letters and posted right next to my desk at work by someone who shares my classroom.

Nongermane, but still important to note: there exists no sentence which wouldn't be better served by simply saying "among" instead of the outdated, awkward and ridiculous "amongst." Next time you hear some mouth-breather trying to sound literate by dropping an "amongst" into their invariably unenlightening sentence, consider "among" and tell me if I lie.

(I feel I should note that while this post is tagged with "PMS" I'm not actually currently experiencing any premenstrual syndromes. The tag just seemed appropriate to the tone of the post.)

13 comments:

Barbara Lewis said...: This is my first visit ... and I know I shouldn't laugh because what you're saying is serious ... but I can't help it! Thank you for a great start to the day ... uh oh ... I hope that expression isn't on your list ... LOL; 6/1/11, 6:37 AM
Penelope said...: you know technically, prostitutes in Hollywood do land among the stars.

GEDDIT!? I AM TEH LOLZINATOR

Also I am now totally in the market for a little embroidered pillow that says 'make realistic plans'.

You know I feel the same way about all that other stuff. I used to get called judgemental by my hippy friends, but hands up who's the only one that hasn't had her face punched in by that crazy bitch I refused to be friends with? Party of one right here.; 6/1/11, 12:10 PM
Numinosity said...: You should see the list I made up for ironic inspirational quotes that I want to use for a jewelry or collage series. Along the lines of "RESIST" "RECOIL" "BURDEN" etc. I think we're ready for it because "DREAM" and "BELIEVE" have been washed out.
I'm with you and thanks for the underbelly view. I love it.
xoxo Kim; 6/1/11, 3:36 PM
Numinosity said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 6/1/11, 3:36 PM
Spirited Earth said...: LOL...guess we need some surly quotes.; 6/1/11, 10:04 PM
richelle said...: I almost purchased one of those letter metal-punch kits when on sale at Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago, just so I could make some stupid random action-directive baubles myself, like "whine" "fear" "wince" "beg" "bleed" "binge" "purge" "kick" "lose" "sketch" "cremate" "skid" "improvise" "nightmare" "blow" "exaggerate" "hoist" etc. But I figured it's been done. I can't express my contempt for this craft meme. The worst one: "breathe." REALLY?; 6/1/11, 11:17 PM
stregata said...: Well, there are two sides to a coin. And while I agree that many of these 'inspiring quotes' have been used to a point of almost meaninglessness (is that a word?) - on the other hand, I think there is enough anger, hate, pain and despair evident in the world - take a look at the news - that we don't have to 'manifest' it in our work.; 6/2/11, 1:13 AM
richelle said...: I would argue that pain and despair manifested well in a piece of jewelry can be quite lovely and not necessarily 'negative.' Stamping easy, overt words outright to indicate such might be a bit of a shortcut and miss the point and impact though, and therefore seem negative. In the same way that the 'positive' words seem a shortcut for conveyance to me.; 6/2/11, 3:46 AM
stregata said...: @Richelle:
Of course, you have a point there. It is possible to transform a 'negative' emotion into a work of art or a piece of jewelry, that will speak to others in a positive way. But the key word there is: transform.
I still believe we don't need pieces that are only an expression of negativity. Because we create our reality through our words, our thoughts, our actions.; 6/3/11, 12:08 AM
Deryn Mentock said...: Wow...you're one tough cookie. Have to say, I got a huge laugh over this, this morning! I'm with you sister. Although, I may have used a word or two on your list at one time or another. If I ever do so again, you have my permission to kick me. Or, I'll kick myself. On the plus side, I can't tell you how many times I've been called "judgmental." I'll now consider it a compliment...; 6/3/11, 7:56 AM
Regina said...: Sweet.................; 6/4/11, 8:28 PM
Jennifer Valentine Morford said...: OK I admit it!!! I am an "amongst" user!!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
But seriously, I witcha on a lot of this stuff.
But I do like inspirational things...words...and such. I don't like to use a lot of "famous" quotes, really. I think maybe we should make our own....
that's my two cents.
and BTW, you latest makings are k-i-l-l-i-n-g me!
so amazing as always!
xoxox
cake; 6/5/11, 9:46 PM
Julie said...: I love your direct, open and honest approach on life. I adore your jewellery and have just written a review of your blog and Etsy site on Facebook called Gems By Julz as I have given you the two thumbs up for a great blog and fabo art. I had a great belly laugh though your objections to all euphemistic optimism statements as I totally agree and then when you categorized it under PMS even though it wasn't that was the icing on cake and I am still laughing. Your humour is brilliant and I will enjoy following you. Cheers Julz from Down Under.; 6/17/11, 12:19 PM