2/26/13

I'm Really Lucky.

Got some eye candy for ma ladies.
 Here's a little something. I gold foiled those big links, then rubbed them with some sandpaper to grunge it up and make the vague facet edges show up. It was a pain.
 When I got this choker base, it gave me the idea to join this unwieldy round piece and container thing.
 I used a big-assed rosey copper head pin on the focal and mounted two raku cabs on the sides.
A little foil, ox, seal and done.
 Here the thought was "let's use up some of these zillion pendants I have all over the place."
 I dunno. What do you think?
Oh, look at this pretty thing! Rough garnet and greek ceramic discs and a layered focal. 
 The shell is a white locket that I rubbed some gold highlights on.
 Oh look at this craziness! Raku cabs on salvaged tin with devil horns and a sweet bow made out of faux druzy. They were plastic cabs in a very plastic bracelet and I cut them apart with my wire clips.
 And you know what it's been forever since? It's been forever since I made any of my patented* mud-and-wax-paste sludge to grunge up a thing. Or in this case, to sort of bridge the gap between a thing and the thing that thing is glued to. Thing.
*No patent pending.

Here's a kinetic ring. "Kinetic" sounds better than "It flops around but I'm going with it." 
Pre-Columbian beads! No, not before the country of Columbia, but before Columbus got here. Duh.
 Here's some ancient metal. There's electro-formed slabs of layered stone with druzy tips. All patroness stuff. All of this!
 There's only one pair of earrings in this whole post for general consumption. But all this means I don't have to measure, I only take three pix of anything and never a size reference one. I don't have to worry about using expensive supplies in things no one's gonna buy. I don't have to describe it in a listing or come up with a clever title or quote. Or fucking tags! That's what having a patron means to me... God, I'm so sorry you guys, I didn't mean to be rubbing it in. But remember, before etsy I was a useless mess.  Like, lying in the gutter eating my own poop useless.
Aaaaaaanyways, these stones are REAL DIAMONDS. Very rough and raw, they dange under silver spoons with antique porcelain teefs found in a dentist's estate. Real but imperfect diamonds, fake but perfect teeth- fancifuldevices: for all your ironic symbolism needs.

As for my auntie time, within an hour of arriving in Wisconsin, I had a seven year old boy asking me, "Why do all girls have gainas with hairs?"
...

Which reminded me of a time with David when he threw a ball right into my crotch. He started laughing and said, "I hit your penis!" When I explained that girls didn't have penises and he said, "Oops, I forgot."
So last time there was a day he came over and was playing for quite a while without removing his outer wear. So jokingly I started going, "Take off your coat! Take off your scarf! Take off your hat! Take off your shoes! Don't take off your pants!"
"Haha! Cuz then you could see my underwear!"
"Yeah."
"Or even my penis."
"Um."
"I couldn't see your penis though."
"Ummm."
"Cuz girls don't have penises, hu?"
"That's right."
(Thoughtful pause.)
"I'm really lucky though."
"What? Why?"
"Cuz I get to have my penis!"

9 comments:

Jiorji said...

FUUUUUCK!! this is why i LOVE this tribal decayed stuff. (umm are you not gonna approve my comment cos i swore?? but you can't do that cos you said penis...)

come on! real diamonds and a random spoon with TEETH?!?! this would make some spiffy rich person CRY!!! haha i love it. my favorite.

i love that you're successful. and you have a patron. and that this stuff gets love.

i'm totally jealous of your bubbly resin though. i still can't get mine right :( one day...

Flotsam Tide said...

pretty layered thing is exactly that... a beautiful pretty layered thing with gorgeous drape and flow. Oh my, my computer can't keep up with my excitement over here. I love those little devil horns on the cab rings, and all of this is just divine. Ok who told David all girls have "gainas with hairs"?LOL.... Look at you with your diamond bling and teefs! "G" says "you are straight kickin' it with the black ice homey.. shiny shiny... bling bling.."

Sparrow said...

Oh the only new thing since 1845 in your shop that regular jerks are allowed to buy and it's teeth. Thnx.

All boys are like that about their junk, I think. I remember hanging in my room once and Toby came running in (5 years old), completely naked from bathtime and started dancing in my doorway, pointing and me and singing 'ha har-har ha ha!! I have a peeeenis and yooooou don't!!' I couldn't get him to understand I didn't want one! Cause seriously, those things just do whatever they want. At least when you're a girl you can have a raging lady boner and no one needs to know. That's probably the best part about not having one though. And the pain. Jesus what a bad design us humans are, so fragile and easily hurt. How we ever got past the neolithic I'll never know.

alteredarcheology said...

I knew you would do patronesses stuff justice, god, I've been waiting for this and it's glorious!!!!! I can't even talk about what I love on each piece cos this comment would be a novel, but yeah, the mud sludge plasti-cabs, wowza. Little sparkly druzy bows on those grubby little faces??? BA-rilliant! And total ditto on what Jiorji said. And, and, and.......!

Sharon Driscoll said...

Who the hell can top what everyone else said - not me! Congrats on the patroness, she has chosen herself a rockin' artist.

HenrietteWhiteJewelry said...

My 3rd visit today! These are all really amazing! Love that square blue pendant stone thingy on the second photo. And the kinetic ring! And everything else!

Star of the East said...

Gainas with hairs, huh? Did you let the kid alone in Etsy???

Tribalis said...

Oh! The pride of the boys and the forever castration of the girls..See, see.. and some people still think that Freud was crazy!
My boy recently was sharing with a friend on the school her most valuable discovery.. and there I go try to clear up the situation with the teacher! poor mama!

I am jealous of this wedding.. You just think about her, and her, and her! :D

Tribalis said...

and also..sparrow, are you sure that you never wanted one? ha,ha!... one day I had a dream..it was where I saw my body on the mirror and saw a huge one on me.It was in a moment when me and my boyfriend finished a relationship of 6 years. After that I started to study Psychoanalysis to save me of that nightmare.And I did. But this thing of castration complex is a serious, dangerous thing you know?!Yes, "dangerous" and I know really well the meaning of this word in English, teacher Marina! Good dreams to all.