fanciful devices: OK, NO MORE QUESTIONS.

A Stone Is Nobody's

A man ambushed a stone. Caught it.
Made it a prisoner.
Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the rest of his life.

His mother asked why.

He said, because it's held captive, because it is captured.

Look, the stone is asleep, she said, it does not know whether it's in a garden or not. Eternity and the stone
are mother and daughter; it is you who are getting old. The stone is only sleeping.

But I caught it, mother, it is mine by conquest, he said.

A stone is nobody's, not even its own. It is you who are conquered; you are minding the prisoner, which is yourself,
because you are afraid to go out, she said.

Yes yes, I am afraid, because you have never loved me, he said.

Which is true, because you have always been to me as the stone is to you, she said.

Russell Edson

FAQs

1. Are you a Southeast Asian dancing girl from the 1800s?

No, sorry to disappoint. My avatar and banner images are from an ancient book I found in the depths of my grandmother's cabinets. More on that here.

2. How do you make everything look so old?

First, you need a good oxidizer to brush on every bit of metal you can reach. I'll tell you all about it here.

Then there's this wax. I first mentioned it here. You'll have to scroll down a lot.

3. How can you be so productive?

I'm insanely obsessed and I have no offspring. I do nothing else- I don't have a day job, I don't clean my house or cook, I spend all day in pjs, often completely abandoning personal hygiene... I only interact with other humans when I walk my dog. And I like people! But I prefer dogs.

And I'm sloppy- but I make that sloppiness work for me.

4. Any tips you'd like to share?

No! Except for these 16 posts about techniques and this one about how to find your aesthetic.

5. Would you be offended if I took some inspiration from your designs?

Well, I'd be happier if you outright copied them.

No really, imitation is how we learn. I have enough ideas to go around. And even if I don't- please. No one's going to do this obsessively enough to threaten my business. (Probably.) I learned by copying others and I've seen others copy me as a step toward developing their own voice. So feel free. (I'd love if you tossed me a link in my comments, so I can feel like a proud momma.)

6. What do you look like?

Why, what have you heard? Really? Wow.

10/12/11

OK, NO MORE QUESTIONS.

So I guess the basis for entry into the giveaway- Answering the question, "What dumb things shouldn't you do?" was WAAAAY too complicated for the kind of following I attract. Yeah... (long pause....)

So, remember how I said this was going to be a meritocracy?
~~Oh yeah. Gardanne wins for being the first commenter (about 17 in) to actually answer the question!!! Though I think she might have stolen her anecdote from this commercial:~~

OMG- I was wrong! The 1st to answer was actually a new commenter, Emakesart. Shit. Sorry, Gardanne. This is really bad form, hu?

Etheromaniac. Ring with Japanese Celluloid Flower.

First, a leeetle ring.

I shared a story of dumbness in a convo with CorvidDelights I realized I should include here, between photos of what I'm giving away next- which is a twofer.
So.
I was in Uruguay (which, Aqua Junko, is where I get all this stuff) and my hubs wanted to look at this one wallet so I asked the guy to get it from behind the glass. So he did but said "Pero esto es de damas" which means, I realize now, 'But this is for ladies.' However, I wasnt used to hearing 'ladies' (damas) in Spanish and instead of 'for' he actually said 'of'. So it almost sounded like he was saying it was made of...damask? so I said "¿Que es damas?" Which fucking retardedly means "What is ladies?" AAAGGGHHHH!!! And the guy hesitated before saying, "Like you." At which point we turned the wallet around and there were flowers all over it- we'd been looking at the back side. And I was so stunned by the retardedness of what I'd just said that I was in shock. It was like, I knew the shame wouldn't fully sink in til later.

WHAT IS LADIES???
Maybe no one else thinks thats as funny as I think it is.

Also cuz I'm always in a state of embarrassment in Uruguay cuz I talk like a Uruguayan but I don't ever know what's going on. And I look so white, plus my hair and clothes, everyone instantly assumes I'm a gringa. Even more now with my ginger husband. You gotta understand how homogenized it is there compared to here. You'd think I had a testicle growing out of my forehead.

(It's the problem of all generation 1.5ers- children of immigrants or those who immigrated as little kids. They sorta fit in with folks from their country but they don't really, and aren't given the leeway of real foreigners. I have had Chinese, Israeli, Korean, Hispanic, Vietnamese, etc. friends who all feel the exact same way.... the-more-you-know

)

OK, the second item included is this weird piece. It's in a vintage slide with a collage made of mostly vintage papers.
Can you tell I'm just giving things away that I found in my junk drawer? But everyone loves free stuff it seems. Let me tell ya- this is big- 2" square. So I have wire on it to hang from a little nail or hook. If you're brave or have a really odd sense of style, you can remove the wire and hook a chain to those little bails

TO ENTER: just leave a damn comment, damn you!

13 comments:

E Makes Art said...: Umm... I was the only one who answered the question in the first post with the necklace... I even gave two answers because I wasn't sure exactly what the question was. That didn't count?! Boo on that!!!! *##@%$

Esther; 10/13/11, 12:01 AM
fanciful devices said...: oh crap. you're right.
ok. email me: marinarios@yahoo.com
I'll have to tell gardanne.... crap.; 10/13/11, 12:23 AM
E Makes Art said...: Man... I feel like a big ol' complaining loser now, lol! Ok, I'll email you...; 10/13/11, 12:42 AM
E Makes Art said...: Ok, I emailed you twice, but I just came by and you already changed it! Ahhh! I REALLY did NOT think you'd take me seriously!! I thought you'd be all "oops, my bad" and move on! I feel bad...I'm sorry people...I'm a good person, really! bleh

xoEsther; 10/13/11, 1:52 AM
Jackie said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 10/13/11, 1:57 PM
Jackie said...: Here is my damn comment...

I'm loving that awesome little ring!

And congrats to Esther for the ring...don't be too hard on yourself. Looks like you won fair and square.

...Jackie xo; 10/13/11, 2:52 PM
Flotsam Tide said...: Pfew thanks for not sharing my stories in that convo....haha (nervous laugh). Yah being a generation 1.5 (a term you introduced me too) is not easy. So many conflicting values and opinions. It is what draws me to great writers like Jhumpa Lahiri who explore the immigrant or first generation born experience. Then you have my daughter who says she is Native American, South American, Asian, Indian, and African, and the cohesive thread in all these cultures is that they all eat rice!!!

What is ladies? You know that I am going to be chuckling about that for ages.; 10/13/11, 3:45 PM
Gardanne said...: Well I won't lie, I was disappointed, who wouldn't love to win a piece of Miss Fanci.
But I will live, congratulations Esther and no worries Fanci.; 10/13/11, 5:41 PM
fanciful devices said...: no really, im going to send you something gardanne.; 10/13/11, 10:23 PM
Penelope said...: Ha!

I don't need to enter the giveaway, but I can tell you I've done some seriously stupid things in my time, including the classic 'walk into a lamp post cause you're checking someone out across the street'. It also took me a good 10 minutes to figure out the bright light in the night sky was the moon, but I was realllllly stoned, so I don't know if that counts.; 10/13/11, 10:44 PM
richelle said...: I don't mean to enter the giveaway, but only because I know that ring isn't going to fit over my arthritic worker man knuckles.
But I have some stupidity to share, kind of similar to your story of misunderstanding an obvious word. mine is stupider because it was in English. I'm from the west, but moved to upstate ny a few years ago. The regional accent is very thick here--mainly has to do with all vowels being switched or shortened. I have a hard time with accents for some reason--I sometimes have to use subtitles when watching British shows.
Anyway, we went to a place here called Panera, which is a chain bakery/restaurant type of deal. It was my first time; I didn't know you always get a choice of side order, 'chips, apple, or bread.' After I ordered the girl asked me, 'would you like 'chipped sepple or brad?' I said, 'What are they?' she's like, 'chipped....sepple....or....brad.' I said, 'What's sepple?' My husband is like, "apple.' so I'm thinking it would be like dried apple chunks, which sounded really gross with soup, so I said, "what's the other thing?" And the girl says, "BRAD!" Which I thought maybe I was misunderstanding as 'brat' for 'bratwurst,' which is really popular here. I said, "You mean bratwurst?" and she looked at me like I just stepped out of a landed UFO, and said, "BRAD!!", while gesturing to the enormmous basketed array of baked loaves behind her, and I said, 'I'm sorry, I have no idea what that is...' and my husband is like, "BREAD, RICHELLE, BREAD--jesus, do you want chips, apple, or bread?' and i'm like, 'oh, BREAD! duh!"; 10/13/11, 11:11 PM
Gabri said...: Holaa!!, ay, Dios, no acabo de comprender bien tu texto. Creo que hay que contestar a algunas preguntas para participar en un sorteo, pero, bueno, es problema mío, qué le vamos a hacer!!
Siguen encantándome tus cosas y su presentación.
Un abrazo grande desde Madrid!!; 10/14/11, 5:10 AM
Louise said...: What a fantabulous ring. Your post had me in stitches. Testicles out of foreheads and stuff. ;D; 10/14/11, 5:50 AM